Horsefucker Scientist Unearths Ancient Artifact of Ponies Past by

Earth Date; April 23rd, 2117  

     Today at approximately 13:00 Horse Scientist and Memeologist “Fig Faggotson” unearthed a forgotten piece of horsefucker past, 100 years in the making. An odd device that appears to be a jar of light blue liquid.





     “It appears to have once been a toy, drowned in human semen.” said Faggotson in a statement to HorseNews on Friday. Currently, research is underway to unveil the mystery behind the jar of allegedly human gruel. When asked what the purpose such an item would carry Faggotson only had this to say “Whatever this relic was used for, it was important to society at the time. So important, whoever came into it's possession had to hide it. It's true purpose however still eludes us. We hope with further research we can unlock the full potential of this jar of slightly blue spunk, but for now the jar seems tightly sealed via an incredibly durable webbing of rotten cum. Our meme-team has in the meantime uncovered what they believe to be photographic evidence of the burial.”

"Whoever buried this box was very careful to include a timestamp. This must have been his life's work" 

"Imagine the weight of every load of dirt, knowing you could very well be burying the key to humanity's salvation"

"Much like the young lad of  "The Tell-Tale Heart" many years before, this man had to sleep, eat, and live knowing what he buried here. But after it was all said and done, could it really be called living?"


     Horsenews will post more on the story as it develops; what mysteries lie beneath that solid, air tight seal? Why would a person store so much seed in one place and then bury it? Why is it slightly rainbow-colored? When it's finally opened, how will it taste? Whatever the answer, it's clear someone truly coveted the creature hidden within the jar, and ejaculating on and/or inside of it, and here at HN that's something we can all get behind.



     God speed, distant spunk-man of the past. Whatever your intentions were, may they lead us to a better tomorrow. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ME3AToph4Hs

Comments (10)

  1. That is disgusting.

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  2. You can stop bringing this up now.

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  3. This is good news.

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  4. The cum jar thing really needs to go away now. It was gross when it started and it's still gross.

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  5. Oh god why did he keep it? Why did he bury it? Why?

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    Replies
    1. The jar shall be remembered

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  6. P U R P L E T R A N N Y !
    U
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    T
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    A
    N
    N
    Y
    !

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    1. S H I T T Y C O M M E N T !
      H
      I
      T
      T
      Y

      C
      O
      M
      M
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      N
      T
      !

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  7. The cum jar thing really needs to go away now. It was gross when it started and it's still gross.

    ReplyDelete