"Local" #HorseFamous Man Claims to be better than the entire fandom: Nightmare Nights Dallas 2016 Edition & Knuckles by

  Now that I've lured you tubs of lard in with the promise of food...

     As many of us may recall (or vaguely remember in a blurr of booze and mantits) Nightmare Nights Dallas celebrated it's 4th year just two weeks ago, and boy howdy was Horse News there to experience it, drink, and completely forget about it (So much so they waited 3 weeks after the fact to write an article about it.) #professionalism

     NMND is now the last remaining con in the Lone Star State, which might explain why it maintains such a healthy attendance, friendly staff, and tightly managed operations. Why it continues to suffer HN's presence at what would otherwise be a haven, is completely unknown. Indeed, it's become a staple on the con circuit, that last little taste of pone to tie you over into the new year. So let's dive right into the article.

Shit.

     Lemme just recheck some sources...

...

     Wait wait! Hold on, I'm sure I've got something here that's newsworthy...

The crew had to hold Greg back so he didn't murder me upon taking this candid photo. Look at the fire in this eyes.

     That's right, I had another run in with ArtisanBubbleGum, or as you might know him the Creative Director of “The Diary of Princess Celestia: God Queen of Equestria” now before we had the chance to sit down and really get into the creative process behind “The Dairy of Princess Celestia: God Queen of Equestria” we were forced to endure his entourage friends. The “““good””” FimFlamFilosopher and artist Petirep. So before we get to the real meat of the article; how have Ol' Greg and PT been since we last had a chat?

Eloquent.

     
Straight from the horses mouth Greg immediately stomps on and spits on the carcass of the very creation that propelled him to the lofty heights he sits upon today. As if crashing BG's panel wasn't enough, Greg, in another triggering move elicited by the dreaded #HorseFame premiered another Peel-Off Nanalysis.

God help us, another fucking analyst

     Shortly after the premiere in a completely predictable move Greg proclaimed himself better than the entire fandom in a single phrase...


“I don't have a script when I do Peeloff's, so now I feel like a real Analysist”

     So, where were YOU, the fans, when Greg “FimFlamFilosopher” Hoffman crashed ArtisanBubbleGum's (creator if Diary of Princess Celestia: God Queen of Equestria)'s panel, and proclaimed himself God Emperor of the fandom? Joining the ranks of ToonCritic and FinalDraft before him Greg has become to big for his breeches, too good for his fans, and too good for the content that got him where he is now.

     In the ramblings that followed Greg so joyfully informed us on the hazards of animation software, how “Equestria Primates” is (still) fucking dead, along with “DinkySharkFighter32”, how shit he is at interlacing, and lastly, how 2,000 dollars in patreon shekels vanished in order to “pay” for some sort of “software”; and to top it all off he states “Cons are going well, and we expect to be at more in the future”

The nerve of that (handsome) guy.

     So there you have it, “Greg” now sits on a broken throne snorting lines of HorseFame. While we the caring, tolerant fanbase must grovel and find our free entertainment elsewhere with no end in sight. “But” I hear you say “What of that little Cherub, ArtisanBubbleGum creator of “Diary of Princess Celestia God Queen of Equestria”?” well, in a move to rival the likes of Ghandi and MLK, Bubblegum sat silent through the entire panel, with out so much as a peep. If I didn't know any better I has mistaken him as the guest panelist. And when Greg's Odyssey drew to a close? What witty retorts, hilarious antics, or flirtations did BG fill us with?

     None at all; for Greg had eaten up the allotted time for the panel. We were lucky to catch a quick snapshot of Bubblegum and his crew before he slipped away to parts unknown.

     Also Petirep was there too.

     Aaaaaand The End.



Comments (19)

  1. A HN NMND post that doesn't include someone sharing their bodypillow with a GoH. Fascinating!

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  2. I got hugged in person by Chelis. It was glorious.

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    1. Were you amalgamated into his loving folds?

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    2. did his fat rolls really smell like month-old queso and rape?

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    3. I hugged Chelis about a year and a half back. It's quite the experience...weird but transcendent. Like licking one of those hallucinogenic toads. Highly recommended.

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  3. Wait, what was this even about? Some guy you dislike said some vaguely sketchy things?

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    Replies
    1. Chelis tends to use this website as a means of going after the people he doesn't like in front of an audience so he has backup. He's got so little credibility anywhere else that this is his only outlet where some people actually care what he has to say.

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  4. Apparently, Horse News doesn't know what a metaphor is. All Greg was saying, you literal idiots, is that he believes in constant improvement. Comparing Greg Hoffmann to the likes of BlackGryphon is low, even for you retards.

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  5. An article about Nightmare Nights and no mention of dropping $800 of a drawing of a phallus for charity?

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  6. PURPLE TRANNY
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    1. Donald Trump may be the antichrist, but I'm having the best time of my life watching Purple Tinker writhe like an ant under a magnifying glass. Burn, bitch, burn!

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    2. Does Purple Tinker actually expect anyone to fund yet another cross-country move less than a year after she attempted to crowdfund her first one? Maybe she should try the thing that most adults have figured out, namely growing the fuck up and paying their own bills.

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    3. why do that when he can crowdfund his shitty cruise con

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    4. hey purple tinker you look like a man

      plus you have a big nose

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    5. RIP Liberalism

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  7. I can't tell if Horse News is seriously this dense, or just they fail miserably at expressing with sarcasm.

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    Replies
    1. They are all autistic, what do you seriously expect out of this site?

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  8. PIKA PETEY
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    E

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