Local mother wonders why son hasn't moved on from ponies by

Chaplain  tries to explain why her son just can't let go of the show and it's dying fan base
Reporters from the Horse News Atlanta division report that, like many other concerned mothers, 51 year old Mary Chaplain just doesn't understand why her son's taste in cartoons is still so awful. 

"I just don't get it," said Chaplain, staring at her son in the other room in disappointment. "There's so many better cartoons now! They even remade the Powderpuff Girls. Can't he at least fantasize about little girls of the same species?"
Pictured here - Phillip's basement bedroom

While his mother still can't understand how her son's obsession with the show has lasted more than three years, Phillip (22) apparently keeps watching due to "a lack of any motivation what so ever to improve his life." Currently holding a job at Peter's Pump and Hump, he apparently drops nearly $100 a month on My Little Pony merchandise, regardless of no one giving a shit about the show anymore

"REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE," he loudly stated, screeching as a defense mechanism against his single working mother's fascist rules. 

No news as of yet if Phillip plans to move on to a better show, however Ms. Chaplain explains that she has limited his pony time to only two hours a day, a decrease from his normal four to five. Further attempts to introduce him to non-pony material have proven unsuccessful, as last month's attempt for him to watch an episode of Teen Titans GO! resulted in multiple suicide attempts.

No word from Phillip on his thoughts on the possibility of the series ending, considering he didn't stop screaming during the entire interview. 


Horse News was also unable to attain a statement from Phillip's father, but then again his mother hasn't heard from him in years either.

Comments (12)

  1. I'd gladly sleep in that neat bed

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  2. I'd love those bed covers but mine's a single. Never needed any bigger - the one time I approached this girl who looked a lot like Twilight, I said "did you walk into a mirror lately, because you look like a pony princess" and for some reason she slapped me :(

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  3. If people tried to get me to stop watching ponies with Teen Titans Go, I'd probably try to kill myself too.

    ...
    Is it bad that I'm 35??

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    1. I don't need women! I HAVE PONIES!! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE...

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  4. P U R P L E T R A N N Y !
    U

    R

    P

    L

    E



    T

    R

    A

    N

    N

    Y

    !

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  5. LMAO this is sooooooooooo fake. That bedroom is obviously from a design idea website and the story is dragged on in a ctrl-c ctrl-v style. Even the image of Mary is taken from else where on the web. Sorry I am NOT buying this false BS.

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    Replies
    1. Can't tell if sarcasm or genuinely unable to read the tags...

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  6. Phillip also likes The Moomins, as we can see a couple of mugs on his night stand.

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