Flight Lives Matter movement kill 64 in riot, blame Celestia by

A very poor artist's rendition of yesterday's protests
CANTERLOT - The scene from yesterday's Flight Lives Matter protest was one of complete anarchy, all from a movement aimed at trying to stop violence. By the end of the day a total of sixty-four bodies lined the streets after rioters burned, shot, and somehow morbidly crushed random ponies. The FLM representative who is only known as 'DR' released a statement today, placing blame solely on Princess Celestia and not the five people in FLM shooting at innocent bystanders.

"We dindu nuffin" stated DR, behind her all black hoodie and blood stained bandanna.


Human Rights Now activist protesting in protest to the protest's protested results

What's followed the riots have been nothing short of chaos. Citizens all over the country have come to gather just outside the palace walls, shouting an array of racial obscenities and hurling various body parts that still line the streets. Among protesters were the likes of the Donkeys Negating Confections group, the Great Oppression Party, Human Rights Now activists, the Unicorns for Further Domination of Life, and Bernie Sanders. Though the groups were all there on various platforms and on multiple forms of narcotics, consensus pointed to a need for action from the Princesses, namely Celestia considering she's the only one that matters.

"What the Princesses need to realize is that this type of mass violence and civil unrest can not be accepted. It's time for major action to take place in order to subdue the situation at hand," said element of Harmony Twilight Sparkle, who has a direct contact to Princess Celestia but chose instead to awkwardly hang out with people on the street.

"Fuck that, what we need is more violence," screamed an equally out of place Fluttershy.

At press time, Princess Celestia has declined to comment, however Princess Luna issued a twenty-two page official statement with incredible justification and research that no one gave a shit about because it's Princess Luna.

Horse News would just like to add that we went with the old luna here because that new anime is even worse than the first one

Comments (12)

  1. P U R P L E T R A N N Y !

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    1. I saw that tweet from the HN twitter about Coco Pommel. Seriously, that was a legal thing, just see Big Jim's twitter.

      The derpy controversy was a lot bigger and it took a few months for anything to happen.

      This was like five people complaining (the tumblr turds) and four months later it happened. It can't be because of them. It would take longer.

      But still, what the hell's Rarity and her FRIENDS who know her on a FIRST NAME BASIS going to call her now? They're not going to call her Miss POmmel as it makes no sense.

      Or will they just call her Coco on its own?

      Delete
    2. What's the point in posting this every time? Or is it a bot?

      I get that you want to harass this purple tinkerer or whatever they're called, but there's harassing someone and there's boring them to death.

      Delete
    3. Stop trying to make Horse-News a decent place god fucking dammit!

      Delete
    4. PurpleTranny has stated in the past that among his multiple triggers (men, boys, laughter, laughing boys, air, cis scum, animated horses) is being called PurpleTranny in the comments, and so it has continued being posted in order to honor his wishes never to see it again.

      Delete
  2. Are you fucking kidding me? The only ponies who were starting violence were Guard agents provocateur!

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  3. the picture of rainbow dash gives off more of a euromaidan vibe then one of blm in my opinion but we all know that people's opinions don't matter on the internet

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    1. No I think you got that the wrong way around, facts don't matter on the internet (and in news and in politics and... basically everywhere except for science).

      Delete
  4. when I looked at the preview image it looked like rainbow dash had a big dong with celestia's mark on her balls

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  5. In somewhat related news, Fox News Corporation announced it's acquisition of HN.

    ReplyDelete
  6. So, I want to draw attention to the political commentator that is out of touch with reality, calling Twilight an Element of Harmony. Probably intentional. Right?

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  7. And since they're serious about it, they MUST be fair. Sorry to apply constraints, but that's just the nature of seriousness.

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