|The site in question, where fans are used to a lack of anything interesting|
DETROIT - The scene yesterday shocked fans and on-lookers alike, as infamous pornography and cult site Horse News actually published an article. The site, primarily known for useless members of society making fun of somehow more useless members of society, managed to actually be productive. This comes in stark contrast to the typical rate of twice a month.
"I was completely taken back. I mean Horse News actually did something? That never fucking happens," said an overweight male, probably.
|Horse News crew members, going about their daily affairs|
"I don't know why they're surprised, we try to produce the best content we can," said Korean site correspondent, Crapper Sargent. Crapper went on to say that the site is more popular than it's ever been, pointing to the literal dozens of death threats the crew members receive daily. "Quite frankly, I didn't notice anything out of the ordinary. Then again I haven't been sober since I got off the plane."
Fans poured out by the tens of twenties to express their discontent with the site productivity. Among the sea of comments came various accusations, some involving drugs, some involving conspiracy theories, but most just didn't give a shit.
"This won't stand," said some asshole named 'anonymous' in the comments. "we can not live in a country where Horse News actually does anything. We can't go back to the dark ages."
Known around the waning Brony community as a site to 'shit post' until there would be only one site left standing, Horse News decreased site activity in an attempt to save costs on top of its slave labor revolting in the Bloggers' Strike of 2015. After three public officials and seven members of the administrative staff were murdered in the wake of the protests, the site fell in its decline.
"With out guys like Best Horse or that one other shitty writer we used to have working for free, the site lost its mojo. We just want to get back to where we once belonged." Crapper added from his Korean Liquor Store.
At press time, Horse News has a staff of only fourteen, sixteen if you count the two company horses kept in the corner for private business reasons only. If you'd like to join the dark side and rule what's left of the Brony community as father and son, join the staff. Whatever news site this is has provided contact information if you'd like to help their noble cause of pointless drama and harassing staff members.
|Just think, this could be YOU one day. Horse News is always looking for j|