Rand Paul Steps Up To Challenge: 100 Pony Fight To The Death by




As of a few days ago presidential hopeful Randall Paul, or otherwise known as "Rand Paul" started a "Ask Me Anything" questionnaire on the internet so people could ask his views on any topic they wished.  This varied from questions about his hair (which he has stated that he cuts it himself) to his position on legalizing marijuana.





Among other things was his views on the NSA, which he filibustered against them once for over 10 1/2 hours to try to stop the reinstatement of the Patriot Act.

But the one thing that is brought out the most attention was Rand Paul's decision to answer one question of who he would fight, one which the Commander in Chief today was too afraid to answer of which he would rather fight, a horse sized duck, or 100 duck sized horses. His answer?

Just fuck my shit up, fam.
These "duck sized horses", or otherwise known as ponies, are now his top contender in winning the elections this year based on the Updog Act of 1908, which ordained that "He... the candidate who shall answer the Question pertaining to the fighting of the Horse Sized Duck, or 100 Duck Sized Horses, shall automatically... win the elections of the year of the fight."

This battle to the death for the presidency has made things bother simpler and dire for Senator Rand Paul, making him bypass fighting against his old opponents, consisting of an old woman, old man, an even older man, and some not old people that agreed with whoever they talked to at the moment, but the question is, does he have the strength and willpower to battle all 100 ponies at once? With earth, unicorn, and pegasi all in the ring against him, who knows what will happen.

Bets have been placed, and he has even in the past weeks told the press that he was "working out" during a presidential candidate debate, we wonder if it will be enough to take them all out before they cutely trample him into dust. All we know now is one thing:

TONIGHT ONLY ON PAY PER VIEW COMING FROM WWE ENTERTAINMENT!!!

Comments (6)

  1. PURPLE TRANNY
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    T
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    A
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    Y

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  2. Hasbro got C&D'd and Horse News is talking about this shit.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Don't worry! We have heard your concerns, and I am writing up another article about our circlejerk at PPC! I hope you will enjoy another 30 luscious paragraphs about my obesity and alcoholism!

      Delete
    2. Oy vey, we stop getting our shill checks if we talk shit on our Hasbro overlords. I'm going to delete your comment, it's bad for business, goy!

      Delete
  3. I'm not a big fan of rand Paul but this is gold.
    ~Super Trampoline

    ReplyDelete