Model filled with regret as he struts New York Fashion Week in My Little Pony garb by Capper General
"Screw you dad! I'm totally going to become a famous model one day, THEN who will be laughing?" These words echoed in the head of 26-year-old model Jeffery Woodland, as he took the stage during New York Fashion Week. Woodland, dressed head to toe in My Little Pony themed couture fashion began to reflect on the series of decisions in his life that led him to this moment.
"I was going to show them all wrong," Jeffery thought, holding back tears as he made his right-turn at the end of the candy-coated-catwalk. "I was going to drop out of school and become a star in the big city, posing for Armani...."
His reflection continued as he was joined by numerous other fashion-school dropouts, some wearing jackets made entirely of pony eyeballs.
"I could have taken the job at Dad's company....I could have been making 6 figures and living in my own house by now."
Instead of those opportunities, which his family, friends, and even fellow models told him he should have taken, Jeffery opted to pack a bag and move to the big city where he was sure his looks were going to "wow" the major companies.
"That was 6 years ago..." Jeffery thought as cameras flashed in his face, capturing perfectly the crashing wave of self pity and depression he was feeling, while dressed in a pair of hand-knit Pinkie Pie Pants. "Please god just let this be over. Please don't let my friends back home see this."
After moving to New York, Jeffery had every door closed in his face for major modeling work, and has since been scraping by, responding to Craigslist ads which offer less than minimum wage for modeling gigs.
At press time, Jeffery was staring at the windowless wall of his studio apartment, wondering if it was too late to come home, while his 46 year old roommate Brendan Fraser cooked ramen noodles in a coffee pot.