Breaking: Tara Strong Revealed To Be Succubus by Liki Weaks
The brony world was rocked to its very core this week, with the revelation that their beloved voice star Tara Strong, is in-fact a Succubus. Pictures surfaced of the actress posing with actor Rupert Grint, of Harry Potter franchise fame, during a recent fan convention. While many were preoccupied with the fact that Grint was confirmed to be a pony fan...again...expert photo analysts noticed something else: Tara is still sexy as fuck.
"God damn she is still hot as ever" one analyst remarked. "I would blow her husband just for the chance to be closer to her."
Strong, who turned 42 this year, does not look to have aged a day in over a decade, despite having given birth to 2 sons.
This is in stark contrast to Grint who looks to have aged over 10 years, since his first film appearance.
How could this be?
The only conclusion, analysts confirm, is that Tara is in fact a Succubus - a kind of demon that sucks the life force out of healthy young men in order to retain their youthful appearance, through the art of seduction. It is estimated that Strong has sucked at least 1 day of life out of each of her 222,000 twitter followers, putting her current projected lifespan in the vicinity of 608 years, if she stopped enticing fans today.
That is unlikely to happen anytime soon, so long as Tara has access to twitter and feels like teasing everyone with it.
Most fans don't even seem to mind the idea that their idol is literally sucking the life out of them.
"She's using the youth better than I could for sure," said one fan. "I'd let her take a year out of me in exchange for a full hug."
At press time, this reporter had discovered that she holds a patent for breast milk baby bottles.
Posted Monday, 7 September 2015 at 6:38 am