While searching through my Comcast on-demand service, I came across a show titled "Rainbow Horse" with a title called "World of Color". Being the consummate professional horse journalist I am, I decided to investigate this mysterious program, only to confirm that it is a superior show to My Little Pony in every way.
Loaded with hidden deeper meanings and adult content, analysts the fandom over will be clamoring to tackle this Catcher in the Rye-tier magnum opus.
From its dark sexual humor to its criticisms of the Iraq war, as well as its blatant mockery of the Cuban Missile Crisis, this is a program rich with thought provoking messages.
Let's take a look at the program that puts My Little Pony and Breaking Bad to shame.
"Do You want to play 'I Spy'?"
Yeah that's right, these guys have your number NSA!
The program begins with a flamboyant pink horse with a rainbow mane, which is clearly an allegory for the homosexual agenda, as well as Lauren Faust's sacrifice of FireFly's character to make way for Rainbow Dash's in the creation of Friendship is Magic.
The horse dances around the screen bringing color to scenes that are originally black and white, which is a clear indictment of racial integration in the United States over the last 60 years. In one scene, Rainbow Horse interacts with a single banana, which then multiplies and surrounds the horse, as commentary of the lasting effects of U.S. imperialism on the South American continent during late 19th and early 20th centuries.
Rainbow Horse then encounters a pair of work boots, which turn pink and then multiply as well, stomping and marching in a frightening rhythm. Clearly this show is telling our children to throw off the shackles of capitalism and embrace the working man's paradise of pinko communism.
The imagery is completed when the horse becomes surrounded by hammers, the tool of the proletariat, only to laugh and laugh at the lack of hands to wield them. This of course makes us ask the question; can Hillary Clinton be trusted as president?
There is only the sound of children's laughter. Really makes you think; is weed really harmless?
Rainbow Horse may as well be holding up a sign that reads "traditional values are fading in this country" when she raises a power drill aloft in triumph. The hum and spin of the drill reminds us all that female masturbation is a sin, and must be stopped or else Jesus will not accept our daughters at the gates of heaven.
"Remember to tell your children to fear and hate their bodies, and avoid the pink man in the canoe" - Rainbow Horse.
Poor sexually confused horse. Pulled every direction by shipping, motorboating, and canoe paddling, and no chance at proper direction due to our president's continued usage of drone strikes.
Every single frame of this masterfully crafted horse cartoon shares deep political meaning and lore with our families.
Except this. This is just a picture of Zebras. Zebras are cool. There's no message here at all.
Its truly astonishing how the creators of Rainbow Horse and the World of Color were able to fit such deep, well-defined political commentary and adult themes into a show designed for 2 year olds on the prestigious "BabyFirst" network.
The writers of MLP clearly need to up their game if they want to keep pace with this program for toddlers, which we're sure will win Emmies this year.