Well, it's been a week since the majority of the Horse News crew returned hceome after BABScon.
This year, no one in our crew was lost in San Francisco, nobody got arrested, nobody was ejected from the convention, and our party didn't even get shut down once.
So by all accounts, the convention was a total failure.
Let's start from the beginning though.
|Breakfast: Whiskey and Muffins.|
On Day -1, I flew myself out to San Francisco with one objective in mind: defeat the evil that is jetlag, before the convention even begins. On the way out I was able to see the Grand Canyon for the first time, and the St. Louis arch. I stayed at a hostel in the center of the city, and spent the evening drinking beer and playing Cards Against Humanity, with travelers from Germany, Denmark, Sweden, the UK, and one dude from Australia. I took great pleasure in explaining to the foreigners what certain cards meant, as they had no idea what "The Trail of Tears" was, or what "fingering" meant. The German girls had the great luck of drawing the "Auschwitz", "MechaHitler", and "The Holocaust" cards, without influence. Around 4am Detroit time, I was sufficiently plastered and tired that I crashed on my $15 bunk upstairs, and awoke around 8am California time.
Jetlag had been defeated.
Arriving at the hotel, I noticed that the place was damn-near empty. Whoever WAS there, was no where to be found, except for EQD's Gameleon, who sat and chatted with me, while we waited for more degenerates to arrive and ruin our nice quiet day. Which ultimately they did, and the group was reunited once more.
A fellowship was formed to gather alcohol and supplies, so we spent the afternoon trudging over the highway to a shopping area, where we got ourselves loaded down on beer, vodka, and non-essentials like food and water.
That night, we tested out a new version of CAH - "Cards Against Equinity", compiled and printed by SuperKamiGuru. A group of #horsefamous people and other horse fans, broke into the tabletop gaming hall and started playing, and everyone chipped in cash for /mlp/'s charity effort. Nearly $300 was raised and nearly 40 pairs of sides were destroyed in the process.
Friday - Day 1.
After 2 days of drinking and such, we finally actually began the convention, which was naturally dominated by Line Con. Registration was noticeably overwhelmed at times.
Opening ceremonies came around, and we took seats out in the crowd to observe. I was then asked questions about what to call myself, and was told to go BACKstage before the event. This was not something I was prepared for. Chelis and myself scuttled behind the curtain, where we stood near the center of the room. Behind us stood Tara Strong and Cathy Weseluck, in front of us stood the IDW staff. To our right were the Youtubers and to our left were more VA's. We discussed the possibility that this entire thing was a setup and that they had us surrounded, but we walked away unscathed, despite Chelis nearly knocking over a cosplayer when he dove offstage, or the issues with the animation which was meant to play after my "interview".
Shortly after the opening ceremonies, was the Dusty "Hoof Wrestling" championship event, which resulted in the horrific tearing of DJ Tetsuo's bicep muscle live on stage in the second round. He was sent to the hospital for treatment.
The rest of the day is a blur of catching up with people, many of whom had not seen each other since Nightmare Nights last Fall, punctuated by some panels such as the "Ask A Pony" panel, which featured many popular cosplayers and personalities answering questions in-character. The photo below was taken the instant that the PA monitor had a loud pop, startling the cast of the panel.
At some point in the afternoon, some jackass hosted the Writer's panel, and asked questions to Josh Haber, GM Berrow, Natasha Levinger, and Charlotte Fullerton about the show. The questions came from /mlp/ and some of the information gained - such as the fact that the "show bible" created by Faust, is no longer being used - were interesting. Other information was not. ILoveKimPossibleAlot showed up at one point.
Prior to that, I was also part of a "media panel" with Sethisto from EQD, and Redd from PBK. We talked about stuff for a bit, and then I left.
That evening, Catie Wayne (aka Boxxy for our readers) held a "slumber party". Now, I'm told by witnesses that I showed up drinking something from a paper bag, crashed this panel, and stole posters that were hanging on the walls. I refute these claims, on the basis that I don't remember any of that.
Witness testimony contends that immediately following this event was a panel that I was supposedly running, of which I have nearly no recollection whatsoever. State's evidence #626 indicates that an empty 5-liter box of Franzia was found in a paper bag near the table.
Saturday - Day 2
Day 2 dawned with vigor as the hiatus finally came to a close. The convention was originally supposed to have a showing of the premier coinciding with the show's airing itself, but all signs indicate that those plans got Hasbro'd. A group of us watched the stream together in my room, using an HDMI cable borrowed from Gameleon, and a 4G connection off of Calpain's smartphone. We McGuyvered a suitable showing on the hotel's TV with just moments to spare.
Many fans were instead waiting in line to watch the DVD copies of the premier, when the showing rooms became maxed to capacity. This caused a certain amount of butthurt from attendees. The /mlp/osse set up the Tracy Cage Charity Train booth for most of Saturday, taking donations and chatting with passerby into the afternoon. Admittedly, it was not as successful as last year's event, but that's fine with us.
One of our friends - AnonPencil - won in the costume contest.
Chances are, that wasn't actually mouth wash.
All of this, was of course, just time-killing until the true events of BABScon could unfold - the /mlp/arty of the year.
Saturday night, the first night of the season, hit BABScon like a MAC truck. There were at least 6 parties in progress, all within feet of each other, with the /mlp/arty being the end of the line for debauchery. BerryTube had a party across the hall, next to the Klingons. Nearby were the Furries. Baycon had a room, as did "The Clandestine Clop Market" and DustyKatt's perennial VIP event.
Many thought it odd that /mlp/'s door's remained shut for the majority of the evening, and were employing wristbands at the door. That's simply because this wasn't /mlp/'s first rodeo. The door was cushioned against slamming, and parts of the room had been sound-dampened using ducttape and bedspreads. Behind the door, lay the kinds of depravity that have become standard fare for nor/mlp/erson gatherings.
Tons of booze. Tons of lewd. Successful attempts at placing a BABScondom onto a horse dildo the size of a woman's forearm.
Sometime between the bondage demonstrations and the dildo-shots, our entertainment for the evening arrived, and with her a new standard for convention party-entertainment was established. She brought with her only a candle, 2 disco balls, and a can of whipped cream.
We cannot show you images of the entertainment, for ethical reasons...and legal reasons...
We CAN however say how proud we are of a certain insomniac, who really came out of his shell for the show.
We are less proud of the man who attempted to swipe his debit card between a pair of buttcheeks in an attempt to tip, and almost mortified at the 2 armed forces members who demanded entrance to the party using their military IDs, when the door was legally obligated to remain closed.
We laugh hysterically at the attempts by some groups to get the party shut down by trying to sneak in using fake IDs, by strong-arming the door guards, and by placing an SLR camera in our faces at the door and calling us "fucking assholes" for not letting them in while they took our pictures. It was only the next day that we were informed that someone HAD called the police on our party, and was presumably laughed at, considering we never even received a complaint from the hotel.
Speaking of law-enforcement, the event was thrown into peril, when the hotel security showed up to the party floor and began shutting down every party in the hallway....reportedly with a single exception being our own. We cannot confirm this 100%, considering we were too busy taking shots to care about the details, but the floor DID get sweeped by the hotel, effectively killing the fun for many. We actually were commended on our control of things, an act that was deeply insulting to us. The /mlp/arty however continued until past 4am, when we had run out of markers to draw dicks on Chelis's face with, and clean cups.
This would not be the end of the partying for the weekend. Not even close.
Day 3 - The end times
Perhaps even more quickly than anticipated, the partiers rebounded from the night before, ready to kick the last day of con in the ass. The morning storm (a miracle to some) put a damper on many's plans to head into the city to trek around and be filthy tourists. WE however, saw it as an opportunity to be lazy fucks and do jack shit literally all day.
Following the precedent set by last year, we collected remaining alcohol supplies and raided the hotel's hot tub, throwing the second annual gay bathhouse party. Unfortunately, people did follow us to the gay bathhouse after several hours of taking shots and telling stories, so we had to leave to find something else to not do.
We're told that the closing ceremonies were nice. We wouldn't know.
We resolved to order pizza and play Smash for the rest of the evening, content with each other's company and the knowledge we may not see each other again for quite some time. Just as things seemed to settle down, there was a knock on the door.
An urgent call for alcohol, coming from the top floor. The post-con staff party was underway, and word was that it was nearly dry. A travesty that could not be allowed to continue.
Retweet now @babsconsf to be the biggest #brony #selfie in history!!! #babscon pic.twitter.com/ebSMD8MS0x— PonyToast (@PonyToast) April 6, 2015
The crew rolled into the party and unloaded all the remaining liquor we had in our coffers - roughly 2 coolers full of hard alcohol.
A cursory inspection of the room found Peter New and other show staff...in a bathtub, drinking from red solo cups and playing with plushies. At some point, I can neither confirm nor deny that a tweet was made that triggered some of the most public outrage of the convention...that may or not have been drunk me making a Las Pegasus Unicon joke.
The majority of the crew left the party, because our long-awaited pizza had finally arrived, and I had boobs to sign. And an ass. And a face.
We were informed that the after-party was shut down some time later by the hotel, thus putting an end to the the 4-day drinking binge that was BABScon....for most people.
Day 4 - returning home.
It was Monday now. The Sun was out, it was warm. I still had the majority of my vital organs, and did not require bail money. The groups said our goodbyes, and loaded into the shuttles to the airport, as it so happened many of us had similar departing points, so we had a brief AirportCon with Seth, LineMonkey, Chelis, and PerlerPony before ultimately parting ways.
In the days since, there have been numerous complaints about the con, ranging from the organization, to the compensation for artists, questions about the attendance, and even the financial situation, all of which we don't know about and can't comment on, being we aren't staff, and therefore don't care until something happens.
Most of the convention is a blur, that for one chemically-induced reason or another, we simply can't remember. But what we do remember, we will remember forever.
In truth, upcoming events in my life may make it difficult for me to make it out to more events this year, which is why I'm so glad I could see you all this month. So, to all the friends I've made, thanks for the memories.
Until next time.