|Yeah, all those other episode synopses are totally wrong!|
Twilight Sparkle and her friends go to a village where inhabitants have willingly given up their cutie marks. They are greeted by the village's Handi-Cappergeneral (who, despite her appearance, is not pony Aria Blaze), who is in charge of enforcing the village's laws of equality. Twilight mysteriously disappears during the group's first day in the new village. Her friends aren’t fully aware of the tragedy due to their average intelligence. In this village, those who possess average intelligence are unable to think for extended stretches of time.
Twilight's friends are invited by the villagers to go to the large theater in the middle of the village to watch a group of villagers perform a traditional Equestrian interpretive dance routine. Fluttershy has been crying, but she can’t remember why (but probably because she's a pussy). She remarks on the prettiness of the dance. For a few moments, Rainbow Dash reflects on the dancers, who are weighed down to counteract their skill and masked to hide their good looks. They have been handicapped so that the other villagers won’t feel bad about their own appearance (this is what liberals actually believe). Because of their handicaps, the dancers aren’t very good.
Fluttershy says she would enjoy living in a society like this where everypony is equal. Her friends seem skeptical. If she were Handi-Cappergeneral, Fluttershy says, she would make all the little animals equal too. Fluttershy says she would be a good Handi-Cappergeneral because she "knows what normalcy is." Applejack asks if any of them have seen Twilight. Upon mentioning Twilight's name, the villager ponies in her immediate vicinity start making a loud, annoying screeching noise until her simple rural mind forgets who Twilight is.
|"One of us! One of us!"|
After a rumbling noise, Twilight herself bursts through the side doors and storms onto the stage. She says that she is the Princess of Books or Friendship or whatever the fuck they decided to make her princess of, the greatest ruler in history, and that everyone must obey her. Then she rips off her prison garment to reveal that she has a horn and wings, but this time the reveal doesn't destroy the fandom. She says that the first pony brave enough to stand up
|"Look at me... I am the Princess now."|
Handi-Cappergeneral comes into the studio and
No, I totally didn't just copy/paste a synopsis of "Harrison Bergeron"...