These are the people we were warned about by

A tumblr wet dream.


THE YEAR WAS 2081, and everybody was finally equal. They weren't only equal before God and the law. They were equal every which way. Nobody was smarter than anybody else. Nobody was better looking than anybody else. Nobody was stronger or quicker than anybody else. All this equality was due to the 211th, 212th, and 213th Amendments to the Constitution, and to the unceasing vigilance of agents of the United States Handicapper General.

Now, if you DON'T recognize those lines, you probably should not be debating the message of the upcoming My Little Pony Season 5 premier, at least until you finish 9th grade English class. Unfortunately, the Internet is teeming with people who write but never read, and shout but never listen.

From what we know of the Season 5 premier "Cutie Markless", there is a dystopian society where everyone's special talents and gifts are suppressed in the name of total equality, by a bureaucrat.

This is, if not an homage to, a strong similarity to a short story written over 5 decades ago by American author Kurt Vonnegut, known as "Harrison Bergeron".  In the story, the eponymous character Harrison lives in a society in which everyone is made equal - not by lifting those with lesser abilities UP, but by bringing those with skills and gifts DOWN.

Now, what is important to know, and is widely agreed upon, is that Harrison Bergeron is NOT a story about communism, nor is it entirely anti-egalitarianism. It is a work of careful absurdist satire for which Vonnegut is so widely known.

There are no heroes in this story. You are not even meant to feel entirely bad for Harrison, for the moment he frees himself from his hellish restrictions, he declares himself Emperor and gets himself and another person killed. There are only villains and anti-heroes in this short tale.

The entire story is a case against extremism, in which if you follow certain lines of thinking to their absolute limits, efforts to do good, can ultimately do far worse. Which sounds an awful lot like our old friends over at Tumblr.



Now, by now we certainly don't need to tell our readers about the hypocritical, and often counter-productive tendencies of many tumblr users. Ones who rabble for equality, while simultaneously declaring certain groups inferior. Ones who cry for safety, who demand violence to achieve it. Well when you take a complex story such as Harrison Bergeron (by complex we mean, with a higher realm of thinking than it takes to read an average Twilight novel), and condense it into a PREVIEW for a cartoon, and give it to those types, there is sure to be a noticeable effect on the conversation.


And we're off to a poor start.

Tumblr is already triggered by a message they cannot comprehend and are making leaps that would rival those of Harrison himself. (If you read the story, you would understand this reference). It begins with a user freaking out because they hate the message of an episode that hasn't even aired, that seems to reference a story that they likely haven't read.

Our perennial diva DragonDicks engages the user and eventually it gets to this point:


That's right folks. DragonDicks has already made the leap to suggesting that this episode will encourage bronies to be "more aggressive", and specifically mentions "rape" and "death threats".

DD isn't the only one.



In what universe, could the story of Harrison Bergeron be construed as encouraging people to commit rape, we have no idea. Though interestingly enough, they support the idea that forced "total equality" would be a positive change, and are "disgusted" at the concept of it being framed in a bad light.

There seems to be a major concept that these people are missing. One put it this way:
"There's two definitions of equal at play here, equally competent and equally dignified. Everyone should be the latter and can't ever be the former"

This outlines a very basic truth to our world that many tumblr users reject: total equality is impossible.

Some people are naturally smarter than others. Some people are born with birth defects. Not everyone can be equally competent in every regard. We can do our best to lift others up to make them more equal, but we should never bring others down for the same reason. Equal rights are something that can be granted, but Equal physical attributes is not, not in the way that they suggest. A person's individuality and special talents are to be celebrated, not hidden and shamed away. If anything we would expect all the special snowflakes on tumblr to LOVE this idea. But again, this is the hive of hypocrisy we're talking about.

And we still have no idea how one can reason that spreading a message that individuality should be celebrated is an encouragement to commit rape. But then, this is tumblr.

"Gee - I could tell that one was a doozy," said Hazel.
"You can say that again," said George.
"Gee-" said Hazel, "I could tell that one was a doozy."


Read the entire story here
http://www.tnellen.com/cybereng/harrison.html

Comments (42)

  1. im already feeling my desire for rape increasing

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  2. Dear tumblr
    Kill urself already
    :D

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Need to take down Yahoo! first, then the empire will fall.

      Delete
  3. A-are they opening a second front? First they came for our games. Now they are coming for our ponies. Brace yourselves, fellow horsefuckers and shitlords. We shall weather these foul beasts and keep the ponies free.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. #ponygate

      Delete
    2. Anon please, they've been after our ponies long before GG started.

      Delete
  4. Liki Weaks, thank you for telling it like it is. Of course Tumblr was triggered by this. Is this surprising anyone anymore?
    Tumblr will always be triggered and anally-ravaged by something.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Tumblr could be triggered by a gnat and they'll spaz the fuck over it.

      Pussies.

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    2. There are some tumblr users that are actually triggered by the mere existence of thin people.

      Delete
  5. This article is all too good for this site.

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  6. tumblr is offended by an episode that satirizes engineered equality.

    Is anyone surprised?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Christ this thread.. so it's true. Alot of rightwing libertarian pissants make up Horse NEws and /mlp/'s audience. Unsurprising since HN is like the faux news and breitbart report for bronies and horsefuckers.

      Delete
    2. Go back to Tumblr.

      Delete
  7. What the..? Good journalism? Here in HN? Excelent article, it´s pretty professional.
    "It’s very easy to say “oh, just ignore the fandom” when you’re not the one receiving rape and death threats and shit for being “le sjw”." This wouldn´t happen at all if she wasn´t such a hypocritical asshole, but then again, this is Tumblr we´re talking about.

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  8. I can't wait for the season premier for this to become a full-fledged shitstorm. The episode hasn't even aired yet and tumblr is practically already blaming it for problematic behavior. The sky's the limit here, people.

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  9. Isn't Dragon Dicks an old lady on her early 40's anyway?

    Why the fuck would anyone care about what an old and lonely internet loser says, thinks and feels anyway?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Trust me, we'd be all too happy to let DD die in obscurity if she didn't have a legion of mindless drones reblogging every scrap of bullshit that drips from her mouth onto her keyboard.

      Delete
    2. ^- this.

      It's less the retards being retarded, and more the fact that there are other retards who think the retard is someone worthwhile.

      THAT'S what's truly retarded about these fucksticks.

      Delete
    3. Speaking of obsurity, anyone remember April "PinkiePony" Davis?

      ...Anyone?

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    4. Last I heard she proudly proclaimed that she had moved on to the furry fandom.
      Sorry furfags, she's your problem now.

      Delete
    5. I for one refuse to believe that DragonDicks has received rape threats. Who in their right fucking mind would want to rape a 40+ tranny??

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    6. Apparently Ted Anderson does. I wonder what parents would think if they found out that a worker for a comic loved all the words he finds on a blog called dragon dicks.

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    7. Ted Anderson gets rape threats? BAH HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA. Yeah. Fucking. Right.

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    8. I think anon was actually trying to say that Ted Anderson might want to rape DragonDicks, which is just as stupid a statement, but for different reasons.

      Delete
    9. I think anon was trying to say that #TurdlyAnderson *believes that DD has received raep threats.* Which is probably true, seeing as he pretty much swallows whatever DD shits out without an ounce of thought. Remember the tumblr crusade against the supposed racism of Charlie Hebdo? He bought into that one hook, line, and sinker.

      Delete
  10. Wonderfully written. Bravo.

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  11. The only decent writer of Horse News strikes again!

    ReplyDelete
  12. Horse News running a serious article about an intelligent work of literature?

    Wow, the hiatus really is doing strange things to people.

    ReplyDelete
  13. The best part about this article is that Dragondicks lurks this site CONSTANTLY but doesn't have the sheckles to comment on an article like this that just intelligently blasts her clear across the room.

    Even funnier is knowing she will inevitably read this comment and be pissed, knowing if she does ante up and reply just to try and prove me wrong, I can point out that I baited her into commenting.

    But the funniest is the thought of her stopping and having to Google Harrison Bergeron because she's too stupid and emotionally stunted to have ever heard of that story.

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    Replies
    1. And too stupid to realize the article links the story twice.

      Delete
  14. If all the ponies are equal, then they're the same, which means they're not diverse. But if they're all diverse, then they're not all the same, which means they're not all equal.

    Riddle me THAT one, Tumblr!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. >Implying your average Tumblrtard has the brain cells to think beyond just mindlessly bawling about what they do and don't like regardless of the contradictions.

      Delete
  15. "but then again, this is Tumblr we´re talking about."

    This needs to be printed and distributed on something.

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  16. DD if your reading this, the premiere ep criticizes the equality where everyone must see everyone else as colorblind. That means ignoring that person's identity that makes them who they are and the advantages/disadvantages they have. If you think this kind of equality is right for kids to learn and hate the fact the ep calls out that fucked up equality you believe in, then you need some serious soul searching.

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    Replies
    1. Oh come on Anon, it's not our job to educate those privileged tumblr circle-jerkers. If they want to know about how opressed us horsefuckers are, they can google it.

      Check your privileges, Tumblr.

      Delete
    2. That womans needed some serious soul-searching since the day she decided to devote this much douchebaggery and angst to a fucking cartoon about cartoon horses and the men and women that are fans of them.

      Delete
  17. i take great joy knowing hasbro writers are kept contractually bound to never ever so much as look at the fandom as far as conventions go.

    Also I find it a bit ironic that we're the toxic members of the fandom and yet sjws are the ones who stir up the drama first and make things bigger than they really are.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Quality article, thank you.
    Among the usual sarcasm that is the motivation of most of the articles here, it's sometime good to "go down" to the first degree and express critiques with nice words and references. I always knew some people know really well their shit on 4chan.Keep going!

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  19. I can agree with what he is saying. Everyone who is living in a extremist conformist society has their rights and talents taken away by a powerful "bureaucrat" (dictator). When I hear the word equality and our current society, I ask myself, "If our equal rights are given, then where is complete equality?" I'm not trying to say that we should have complete equality by any means necessary, I'm saying that people should give the rights to have the same opportunities (education and playing sports) as the so-called "perfect" people.

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  20. lol what is this seriously this sjws get more and more ridiculous every time it makes me laugh when they try to argue their points because most of the time they make absolutely no since to me

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  21. >handiCAPPER GENERAL

    Anyone else see a possible name origin for Capper?
    (Newfag here, so if this is already common knowledge, excuse my newfaggotry)

    ReplyDelete