Over a year ago, Horse News forced me to make my first article a response to the rampant criticism that the fandom was endangering the innocence of little girls everywhere who were spending their free time Googling "My Little Pony" in between school and snack breaks, instead of playing with the toys, watching the show, or reading/coloring the books.
Now here we are responding to the same thing. All because the same people will complain until the end of time even when wrong. This time, we'll do a little bit of extra work, but mostly because we lost all of our interns at the company New Years Eve party.
Since we've already created an article addressing this particular post, I won't go on about it. What does need to be addressed, however, is the comment under that article calling us out and failing miserably at it.
We'll go ahead and repeat what some anons already responded with, which is your argument has no leg to stand on. If you or the kids are finding tons of porn, and Google searches are based on your browsing history, that means you and the kids were already seeking out pornography in relation to ponies. So with the same logic, if us disgusting "bronies" (which we're more upset you called us bronies than anything) are coming up with little to no explicit results on Google, that means we've never looked up pony porn.
So to our readers, please stop autistically spamming tumblrinas with your crap, you're no better than those special snowflakes. If they were dumb enough to use this argument, they're stubborn enough not to listen to reason.
Next, let's address an image like this that supposedly show the ludicrous amount of dirty imagery you apparently find, even with the safe search on. This can be easily faked with just mixing screenshots. All you'd have to do is plaster the "safesearch on" button and a different search term to make it look like what you did was an innocent search for worst pony.
But when you actually look for pictures of Rainbow Dash with your safe search on, you get what I found below. Then again I could have faked it, too. And maybe I faked all of these other pony search screen shots too.
|This triggers my autism|
Finally, let's get to the part where we test out searches and then you replicate results at home, as with any legitimate scientific study. Which this totally is. We'll try this just like the experiment from January of last year. Searching the phrase "my little pony" in Google with safe search on, and then another search with safe search off, each with a limit of 1000 images total. Then we tally up what could be considered too hot for young eyes, whether it's explicit, a bit suggestive, or just gore.
After going through 1000 images on safe search, we found fourteen images with questionable content. Six went under the gore category, eight were considered suggestive, and NONE of the results would be considered explicit. The closest was this poorly drawn piece of art depicting the cast thongs and only half with bras.
|HIDE YO KIDS|
Other than this, we were pretty lenient with what "suggestive" really meant. If you click that link above, it will take you to all thirteen results that came up. Keep in mind that four of them came up on the last page alone, in fact most of the results came from the later pages.
*NOTE* We forgot to add one image to the album. Find it here.
Out of 1000 images, we found fifteen that could be considered inappropriate. Five were gore, eight were suggestive, one was explicit pornography, and we developed a special category called disturbing. What image caused us to make the category? A face that would scare any seven-year old girl who has been left alone to Google search stuff for some reason.
Yep. This guy. This guy got his own spot. Congratulations, buddy.
So kids, what have we learned today? You know what, how about we send Princess Celestia a letter, because we all know Mitch doesn't write those anymore. Screw it, let's write the whole scene for him.
INT. TWILIGHT'S CRYSTAL METH CASTLE - MIDNIGHT
After a hard day of searching on the internet for pictures of her and her friends, and to a lesser extent SPIKE, TWILIGHT closes her BigMacBook and yawns. With sleepy eyes, she turns to her number one
slave assistant to take an overdue letter.
Spike? Wake up sleepy head, I need you to
take a letter.
SPIKE pops up from a pile of books, just as tired as her adoptive sister. Or mother. Or colleague. What ever LAUREN said it was, I don't remember after what happened at BABScon...in any case, SPIKE grabs a quill and parchment, then sits next to TWILIGHT
(yawning at first)
Ready when you are, Twi.
Dear Princess Celestia,
Today I learned that people on the internet will always over exaggerate things to fit their beliefs. Whether it be lying about miracles for or against religion, or something as trivial as the contents of a Google search and whether or not it will destroy the psyche of young fillies.
After all, ponies should not be judged by the content of their search history or what websites they use, but rather the contents of their hearts. So when mean people on Tumblr persecute an entire group of people based on what they perceive it to be, it reminds me of Pony Hitler and what he did to the donkeys in the second Equestria War. I guess that means they're just like Pony Hitler, but that's none of my business.
In the end, it doesn't even matter. This was a debate between one pathetic group of people trying to be funny and another pathetic group of people thinking what they're saying actually matters. When it's all over, everyone will just end up being completely useless forms of life. Isn't that what Pony Hitler was trying to prevent?
Your Faithful Student, Twilight Sparkle.
P.S. Spike is annoying me again, I think you should reconsider my suggestion. You know? N-E-U-T-E-R?
Um, Twilight...you know I can
TWILIGHT stops SPIKE from continuing by smacking him as hard as she can with a frying pan to the back of the head.
Good night, Spike.
TWILIGHT kisses her unconscious brother-son-pet on the forehead, uses mouth wash to get the disgusting taste out of her mouth, then snuggles in to bed and drifts off to sleep.
THE END. BOOZE TIME!