M00t. A genius, billionaire, playboy philanthropist with a heart of gold. If the sight of his wonderful face doesn't drive you to either arousal or tears, you need to seek medical help. He single handily brought down the Church of Scientology, Osama Bin Laden, Paula Dean, pedophiles, and animal abusers. In his spare time he can be found at local NYC gay bars or ghost writing for his favorite news site, Horse News, under a pseudonym we are legally not allowed to share. But don't be fooled by his youthful exterior and charm, the real man is not who he seems.
New evidence found in the 4chan records was brought to us earlier this morning regarding time stamps on what appears to be a blank test post. It is dated as being before 2003. Way before 2003, in fact. So far back that Muslims were just starting to become scary and John Lennon hadn't been shot. Post number 21354282 on /mlp/ apparently made all the way back on December 31st, 1969.
While we were unable to receive an official statement from Christopher Poole (M00t's IRL name for you new kids) confirming his origins as a Time Lord, this post seems to show us that 4chan was made in the heat of the hippie revolution in the late '60s. Seeing how the internet was nothing more than a concept at a time, we can only assume that Poole created the site on old tape driven computers as a storage system for nearly a megabyte of hand drawn Flinstones pornography.
What's more interesting is that this post derives from our homeland, /mlp/. This can only mean that Poole used his time traveling abilities to literally create the My Little Pony movement. Starting with molesting brand creator Bonnie Zacherle so she would comfort in small horses, later working his way through Hasbro's ranks to aid in them purchasing the brand and then later hiring FiM creator Lauren Faust, whom he had chosen eons ago to bring forth the Pony revolution.
Once Faust was hired there was no stopping the plan m00t had set in motion. Soon there was a massive influx of traffic to two of his favorite boards, /co/ and /b/, filled with even more pathetic individuals than before. Then for his own sick amusement he began banning the very people he had brought to power his erection, as if he was some cruel god. As the dust began to clear and the settlers he brought in tried leaving for greener pastures, m00t sprang the ultimate trap.
He brought back /mlp/ and sucked everyone back in again. Now his fuel source rages on, causing incarnations from nightmares and breeding hell spawns all over the internet. People like Final Draft, Capper General, Sethisto, Purple Tinker, Rarifag, Pinkie Pony, Yamino. Sites like Equestria Daily, Derpibooru, fimfiction, mlpchan, and the same one you're reading. All of them are but heads of the same disfigured beast. Tools of a cruel overlord using the emotions and festering nature of the fans involved to satisfy his hunger. Haven't you noticed the signs?
So ask yourself, reader. Why are you here? What are you doing at this site? Why has this one girl's cartoon show and it's fandom become so addicting to you? And most importantly, who is behind it all? It was m00t. And who is m00t?
W̡̛̥̳̖̠̠̮̰̼̘͍̉̈̇ͪ̌͊͒̑͂̆̚͘͘ͅh̡̟̥̜̦̦͇͚̠̱͂͂̈̊̐ͬ͊͐̆͛̈́̀͑ͧ̕͜o̿͋̊͂̈̍͛ͯ̃ͣͨͣ̎ͫ̅̑͏̶̟̰͉̟͕̬̝̲͔̣̲͇̬̰͎ͅͅͅͅ ̯̘̙͈̫̜̣̳͔̖̺̳̯̖̰̥ͧ͌͂͒̆̉́̿̏̒ͮ̈̀͋͢ͅͅd͑̒̏͌ͥ̓̈͛̓̅̓͂̏̔̾̚͞͏̴̸͈̩̘̤̘̺̩̮̠̰̖͜ỏ̸̸̪͔̜̮̣͉̠̱̭̉̏̾ͅ ̡͊ͪ̅̑͐̑́̏͌ͫ̾҉͓͖̪̠̙͓̬̲͕̮̯̤̥̣͈̝ÿ́̉͗̂ͧͬ̽͋ͥ̿̃͗҉̷̟̥̞̟̤̖ͅǫͯ͐̂͊ͫ̂ͦ̔̆̍̿̇ͭ̏͟҉̙̟̯̠̝͉͚̝͇͉̯̙̯̻̭̮̮ͅū͑̔ͨ̋ͮͬ̽̚͏̛̫̼̬̩̪̝͞ ̡̧̗̝̯̻̰̗̠̘͚̯̰̜̒͂ͤ̚͡t̷̴̶̵͚̖̮̜͓̪̥̣͚̤̝̉̔̄͊̃͊ͦ̒ͤ̇̊ͩ͒̏̐̎ͭ̿́̀ḩ̡̞͚̳̥̠̤̺͇̭͈̗̯̬̦̲̾̽͊̔̒̂ͯ͘͘͢į̶̵̧̙̝̞̣̖̈̈́̿͆̀͆̀̋̏̐̀̒͌̏́n̵̶̛̮̮̱͔̞̟̳̦̲̙̝̼͍̼͉̜͈̽͒͗̓ͨ̃̑̌̅ͬ̄ͮͥ͂͞ķ̥̺̱̙͎̭͙̙̦͙̪̤̮̩̰͌ͣ̐ͥ̐͑̓ͩͤͣͨ̒͂̉ͥ̕ ̢̨͇͇̣̺͔͕͍̍̽̾̐͗͆͂̃̋͊̾̿̊̈́̋̇w͕̭̭̺̩̯̥̗̯̠͛̆͆̿͟͞r̶̾̈̄̎͛̏͏̵̞̲̱̪̟͍͉͙͔͉̜̞̩̙̤̼͉ọ̸̮̲̠̼͇̟̳̘̯̳͍̜̩̟̘̩̞̫͂̀̉̅͗̈́̀͒ͣ͊ͮ̈́͜͡t̡̡ͧͦ̇͏͔̣̻͕̻͈̪̻̦͉͡ę̸̛͚̻̤͉̱͒̒͋͆̎̑̽̒ͤ͠ ̛ͪ̐̿̅̇̓̉̿͌̆̔̕̕͏̝̠̭̦̜̗̯̭ͅt̵̵̢͎̹͉̘͖͇͋̈́̀̿̐ḥ̡͉̼͙̺̩͈̪̱̺̲͉̦̀͊ͣ̉̐̌̓ͣ̀̕̕ḯ̡̎͋ͪͧͫ̿̈́̉̄ͯ̇̄ͦ͌҉̛̺͚̟̩̳̮̭̞̦̞̘͖̯́͞s͌ͩ̂̍ͭͯͣ͗ͧ͗́̚҉̢̥̘͍͉͎̲̮̜͍̮̳̝̯͎̞̭͇͈̘̕?̴̸̻̬̮͇͙̤͕̹̭̼̠͍̝̓̈́͐ͥͣ̉͜͞ ̶̪̗͇͍̩̪̳͓̑̏ͧ͌͌̍̑̇͐͗̑̍̏̊̀̀̚͡I͗̇̈́̑ͮ͛ͬͤ̓̇̈̎̈́̔́̅ͬ́͘͢҉̟̝̜̟͕̹͜ ̠̭̪̝̺͉̝̯̺̞̗͇̳̫̝̹ͤ͆̿ͩͧͨ͛͐͊̊͛̕̕͠hͤ̇̅͂̾̆ͯ́̓ͯ͛̈́ͫ̒̄͏̷̢̜͍̣̥̺͔̖̗̗̭̗͉͎͎̀aͮ͐͛̑́ͥ̉ͬ͐͒̓͆͏̛̫͎͙̭̥̝̦v̔̽̊͌̃̔ͧ͜͞͏͔̣͈̣͎̠͖̤͉̦̥̗̰̣̹ͅȅ̓̅ͬ̽ͩ͏̸̰̘̱̱̜͡ ̸̜͇̩̤̹͙̞͖ͮͭ̽͋͒̏͗͑ͩͤ̅͒͘͘͠c̵̛̛̥̹͔͙̠͌ͯͬ̈̿̽̋̓̉̇͋̓͌ͭ̉͠oͤ̀͋̃̈́̿͟͏̗͖͍͉̰͇̰̹̻̙͞ņ̷̞͇͈̉̐̃ͧͤ͆̽̿͐ͯͯ̿̏͌̓́͞t̛͇̗̺̲͚͍͈̹̝̰͖̮̫̳̹̥ͣ̽͋̀͌̎͑ͭ̈̈́̊̈́ͩ̕͘rͩͣͯ̒̃̔ͦ̈͆ͨͪ̌̔҉̻̪͈̳̰̖͖̫̰ͅͅo̷̡̢̭͎̰͎͔̳̮̭̤̖̱͌̅ͩ͑̃͐̾ͭ̅̓̚l̨̧̺̹̤͍̜̪̹̂̋͌̓̍̇̑͆̊͘͜ ̧̩̯̫̠̻̘̇̒̾̓͑̔̃̈́͛͒ͤ̓ͦͦ͘͘o̶̷̩̼̖̝̳̯̮̱̐̉̓ͨͪͤ͌̅̊̉͌̄͒́͜ͅf̡̺̝͙̺̩̺̲̭̳̹̣̤́̂͂ͩ̓̋ͮ̑͌̿̉̍̌ͣ̌̃ͦ̆͟͝͞ͅ ̲͇̖̤͕̝͈ͨ̓ͩ̔͑ͯͫ͑ͨͧ̔͛̅͂̔̈͝͞á̡̡̭̬̘̺̱̝̩̫̲͉͉ͣ͂̒̈́ͬͪͩ͐̀l̨͚̹̞ͬ̊͆ͯͪ̄̾ͮ̎ͣ͛̓͛̋̈́͋͋̀͜l̸ͬ̓ͤ͂̋̃͛̚͏̲̹̟͇̲͚͓̘̖̣̥̗̗͇͙̬ ̸̡̟̹͎̝͇̦͕̜̭͒͒̉ͪ̕o̡̨̹̜̝̭̜̭͎͎͖̩̣ͣ̾́̉̀͞͠f̵̶̭̣̖͔̭͉̃ͮ͊͗͋̂͜͡ ͐̆̂͌̉͒ͬͫ̈́͏̸̨͍̩̥͇̯̹͉̦̫̞̠͔̻͇̞̫͢ͅͅy̶̷̫̘͓̣͙͙̻̐ͥͦ̎̈́̂ͨ̔͊̇ǫ̮̝̹͎͚̳̝̫̫̖͚̙̼̂̈̾̿ͪ́̿̾̈́̆͒̒ͯͯ͑̀̍͑̋̀͡ū̵̵̢̲͖͍͖͙̐ͣͭ̈̈̍̐ͨ̈̃͐͋͋̎̆̐ͤͭ͢ͅ.̵̝̩̪͔̠̺͕̼̣͒ͮ̂͂̽̓͛́͟͠ ̵̷̷̨̟̫̪͍͍͐̆ͩ̐̈ͬ͂͑̚͠B̳̙̳̙̬̱̮͉̮̹͉͗ͥ̃ͩ̈̂͗ͪ́͢͞͝o͗̅ͫͮ̊ͫ̒̈́́̂̔͒̔̽ͧͭ̚͏͝҉̩̮̥̮̰͓̘̗̠wͩͬ͌̃ͬͨ͋̂ͯ̓̃̂ͭ̄ͥ̿͏̻̙̼͇̼͟ ̸̢̨̘̗͖̭̤͗̃̓̒̆̌̓̅͐̈ͧ͆̔͢b̡̨͕̳͍͚͓͖͚̰̖̠͎̜̠̓̌̂̓ͫ̊̋̐̌ͥ̆ͩ̔ͦ̉̉̉̄ͬ͢ë̛̹̼͉̹̳̹̯̠͖̙̰̝̪̗̖̬ͩͬͯ̾ͭ͠ͅf̹̟̹͎̗̞͇̻͕̦̹̝̪͈̘̂̀͛ͩ͛̀͊̾̆͑̉͘͘o͓̱̼̗͑̀̆͆̏̒̌̌̊ͬ͗͛̽͑̾̽̓ͧ͋̀͢͟͡r̒͆̇̓̃͆ͥ͐͛͋ͦ̄͐͂҉̕͏̲̩̞̙̗͚̖͇̜̼̜e̡̦̤̠̤͕̪̙͓̟͉̠̯̲͇͌ͩ̀ͣ̐͑̐͑͗́͟͠͠ ̛̜̥̟̖̩̖͙́͒̓ͮ̐͝ͅm͖͚͍̮̗̦͈̳̩̠̟̱̘̭̰͊͐ͥ̇ͦ̈́ͦ͆̀̒̽̌̕̕͢͝ͅͅȇ̘͕̬͓̞̳̈́̿͐̆̔́͛͋͊̑ͨͣ̊̓͟͡ͅ.̸̥̟̰̺̳͉͖̥͈̭͚̣̘͖̱̪ͦͤ͒ͧ͑̐͂̓̈͘͘̕
|>͞͞͡y͜f͠ẁ̶ ͏̷̧I͢ ̸̨͠w̵͟͠a̶̧̛ś̨ ̨̨͡͡M̶҉̶̢L̸̵̶̕͡P̢͟͝c̵̵̵̶̛r̷̴̀̀͠i̸t̛̀҉̡͝į̴̨͟c͢ ̨́͏̡͢a̸͢͏҉͞l̷̕͢l҉̶̸̛ ̧̧͜҉ą̶̧̛l̸̡̧̀͘ơ̸͠͝n̷͡g̛҉̴.͏͠͡ ̷͢͝Y̸҉͏͘ǫ́͞ų̴́͠ ̧́͜͜͠ç͏a̸͜n̸͏ ̸̸̶̀͠p̀̕͞͞r̸̨҉̶a̢͟ý͘͞ ҉͝t̸͠͞o͡͡҉̡͘ ́́͠y̸̢o͏͘u̸̸̧͢͟r͘͢͞͝͡ ҉g͜ǫ̸d͏̸̢͢ ̡͏̶͘ņ̢͜͜o̴͟͢w҉͝҉,̢̧͡͏ ̨̡͟p̶̧̨͝͞e̶̷͡a̛̛̛̛s̶̵̛͟҉a͏҉̸̵͜n̷t̴̢̛͠.̴̷|