Bronies everywhere are outraged at accusations that My Little Pony is now unsafe to search for little girls, made by neo-feminists in response to the latest Ghostbusters. "You have perverted a show for ACTUAL children and ten have the gal to cry about your kiss my entire ass" cries tumblr-user "SpookiePie", on a post that has received over 128K notes.
"This is bullshit!" responds one anonymous pony fan. "I tried searching "My Little Pony" on Google and didn't find anything! You promised me there would be porn!"
"This is just flat out False Advertising," complained another fan. "They said there would be tons of indecency and degeneracy when I Googled "My Little Pony". Even with Safe Search off, I haven't found shit! What a ripoff."
It was true. Our research team set out on a mission to find all of the smut that was claimed to come pouring out at us when "My Little Pony" was searched for. To our dismay we had to scroll all the way to the bottom of the image results before we found anything remotely questionable, and that was this "Pony Centipede" made on Etsy.
"It's all "SafeSearchWrapUp's" fault." Explains one disappointed clopper. "They're an entire group dedicated to finding and flagging all the perverted pony pictures to keep them OUT of Google Image searches. Killjoys."
And it's true. Unlike most fandoms, bronies have been diligently flagging smut for years now.
"If this is the way things are going to be, I might as well join a REAL cartoon fandom, one that DOES have smut on the first page of Google," he says, typing into the search bar. "Maybe something like Korra, where typing her name into the box gets stuff like this on the first page!"
"It's very disappointing to be lied to like this, especially when every character in the world - fictional or otherwise - HAS been sexualized by the internet. Have you seen The Amazing World of Gumball porn? It's great! Then to be told that you can't even search My Little Pony without finding smut, only to not find anything immediately? That's just not right."
At press time it was confirmed that tumblr was still asspained about bronies for the 4th consecutive year and is conveniently ignoring the porn made of every other cartoon franchise, much of which is made by thier own userbase.