Brony "scammed" out of $750 plush on eBay by

Greg "Pinkamena Dash" Palmer, and the Lyra plush he attempted to sell on eBay

SPRINGFIELD, IL -- Local brony Greg "Pinkamena Dash" Palmer is out a $750 plush after sending a scammer the toy without receiving payment.

"This was my first time selling on eBay and I was hoping to sell a discounted and gently used Lyra plushie to a fellow brony" explains a visibly shaken Palmer.

Palmer, a 24 year old part-time cashier at Dollar General, posted a listing on eBay for a pre-owned Lyra My Little Pony toy earlier this month, planning to make an upgrade to an anthropomorphic Twilight Sparkle love doll. The auction finished with the highest bid at $750. It was shortly after the auction finished that Palmer received an email from the buyer with instructions enclosed.

"She pinkie promised me she would send me the money through Western Union as soon as the package arrived to at her house. It was a pinkie promise!"

According to eBay veterans as well as directly from the internet commerce giant themselves, sellers are recommended not to ship items to buyers until payments have been received, processed, and cleared by PayPal, eBay's transaction processing service. This policy is standard practice for virtually all e-commerce businesses.

Palmer stated he waited daily for a deposit from Western Union for a week and a half before suspecting he had been scammed. At this point, Palmer decided to contact eBay and local police. Local police recently met with Palmer in his apartment discussing the details of his plush and give hands-on assistance to Palmer with forwarding the scam-related emails to the police department, while making no promises about being able to retrieve the plush or arrest the alleged scammer.

Police outside of Palmer's home after discussing the details of the alleged scam
"At this point, the plushie was probably dead-dropped to an empty lot and is now halfway across the world to Russia" states local cyberpolicewoman Michelle Andrews. "And if Palmer is unlucky, semen hackers will recover sensitive bioinfomatic personal information about Palmer and potentially steal his identity and siphon all money out of his bank accounts."

Palmer, who already was facing hard economic times and recently placed a $1000 order for a Chinese-manufactured Twilight Sparkle love doll, started begging for donations on his personal Tumblr blog, and is hoping the generosity and kindness of the brony community will help him through the struggle.

"I had no idea such mean-spirited scammers on the internet would try to steal money from a friendly brony. They surely could use more love and tolerance in their lives," remarked Palmer, as his tears dropped from his eyes into his bowl of Ben & Jerry’s Chubby Hubby ice cream.

Area locals were not very sympathetic towards Palmer.

“He’s a retarded idiot for falling for a scam like that,” remarked area local Maxwell Jennings. "I can't believe he's asking for people on the internet for handouts after making such a stupid mistake."

As of the time of writing, police investigators have submitted a search warrant for Palmer's residence, citing suspicion of indecent material depicting minors within Palmer's apartment.

Comments (8)

  1. so is this even a real story?

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    1. >labels: satire; trying to hard
      lrn 2 reed m8

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    2. This satire could still be at least loosely based on an actual un4chanate incident. ... The names would have been changed though.
      I think it's actually skillfully written exactly because it's not easy to figure out whether it's all completely made up or only the obvious parts of it.

      Delete
  2. >hoping to sell a discounted and gently used Lyra plushie

    Oh fuck, my sides!

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  3. I'm actually planning on selling pony shit on eBay soon. Thank you, Horse News, for showing me how to do it!

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    1. Shit, I have a whole set of the rainbow power toys from McDonalds, unopened. I work there, so I stole the whole lot of them with the plan to ebay them off later to make some major bank. An ex manager used to ebay the toys all the time. He claimed to make a decent profit. I checked ebay a few weeks ago: whole sets going for under $5. My plan to exploit the bronies and McDonalds collectors during the holiday season may not be as profitable as I thought it would be.

      Delete
  4. Yeah horse news dude's falling on hard economic times, but you forget he is white so... he ain't gonna fall hard at all lol.

    ReplyDelete