At long last, the Obama administration has come through, completing the long-awaited portal to Equestria, after funneling the majority of the remaining stimulus package funds into R&D contracts with Hasbro.
Obama, seen here talking with a Horse News reporter, has just returned from a "diplomatic mission" to the Equestrian Nation over the Independence Day weekend, in which he claims to have "freed the living shit out of them" from their tyrant ruler.
The "diplomatic mission" which was named "Operation Pony Hunt" yielded several trophies, which will be displayed proudly in his daughters' bedrooms in the White House. Horse-News was provided with a photo of one such trophy; the head of famous "white bitch unicorn" Rarity, stuffed and mounted. It is not clear what happened to the rest of the body, though intercepted encrypted intelligence makes some reference to the term "marshmallow butthole experiment".
"The mission went fine at first," Obama said during a press conference. "We marched several thousand peacekeeping troops through the StarGate thing, and found a colorful world of rainbows and wonder. But then we were surrounded by inhabitants with sharp spears attached to their heads, and when they refused to drop them, we did what we had to do." A prolonged bombing of the nation was deemed necessary, and was immediately approved by Congress. The President has since pulled all Americans out of Equestria, deeming the "Diplomatic Pony Hunt" a success, costing taxpayers only 65 Trillion Dollars and an extra 17 minutes in the security line at the airport.
Local News correspondents
Al Jazeera the Foal Free Press indicate that shortly after the American's pulled out of the pony-hole, there was a swift resurgence of rebels in the capital city, who quickly instated a new monarch on the throne of ousted CIA Puppet Princess Celestia.
At press time, Obama is considering going back through the portal, because "Natasha really wanted a pony for her birthday".