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My name is CirrusH, and for the last 24 hours I have been documenting the atrocity known as DashCon.
The rumors we were all too scared to actually consider were true: a convention run by Tumblr people, for Tumblr people. This weekend saw the rise and rapid fall of what was the first Tumblr convention. They called it DashCon, and to the disgust of many a Tumblr-using horsefaggot, it had nothing to do with a certain blue pegasus. I was shocked that I hadn't caught wind of it sooner, because apparently, it's been in the works - and even selling tickets - since last year.
The first thing I heard about DashCon was that it was shit. Hardly shocking news. But I decided to read up on it anyway, because I'm no stranger to the convention circuit, and I was curious as to how badly they'd screwed up. What I found may prove to be the worst convention fuck-up since LPU.
It started with a list of (at the time)unconfirmed rumors, including, but not limited to, an abandoned vendor hall, the exit of Welcome To Night Vale after DashCon wouldn't pay them, convention staff lying about attendee numbers, violence among attendees regarding fandom disputes, and the admittance of minors into +18 BDSM panels. DashCon attendees were invited via Tumblr to come forward to verify these rumors, and as the hours slipped by, more and more horrifyingly hilarious facts came to light as others were confirmed. The staff at DashCon ran a $17,000 fundraiser at some point on Friday night. Somehow, they managed to raise all of the requested money - which then vanished into thin air. There were reports of convention staff pushing ticket bundles onto con-goers which included passes to a non-existant Steam Powered Giraffe concert. Some panels were so poorly-organized that they were giving out hotel mints as prizes, on top of the fact that most of the contracts DashCon made were verbal-only.
You just can't make this shit up.
At around 8pm on Saturday, I got word that DashCon had created a "refund request list" somewhere at the venue, on which dissatisfied attendees could write their names to enter a queue that would supposedly see their money returned. But when the hotel started to charge people for their comp'd rooms, shit really hit the fan. Tumblr was plagued with panicked teenagers discussing fundraisers to save DashCon (again), whining about the lost fundraiser money and why wasn't it being donated to a better cause?!
So, here's where it stands, as of writing. DashCon is still a thing, and is about to start its final day. Attendee numbers are predicted as next to zero. The convention is expected to crash and burn in a spectacular display of Tumblr incompetence as the staff continue to grab money from wherever they can, and in doing so set a constant reminder of why we don't let Tumblr run things, ever.
SCHAUMBURG, AMURKA - Once upon a time, in The Land of Bad Ideas, someone decided that the world needed a tumblr fan convention. The result was Las Pegasus Unicon, Sweet Apple Acres con, and StuckCon poured into a shit blender set to ""puree"".
Enter: DASHCON (emphasis on ""CON"")
A 3 day extravaganza featuring EXCITING ATTRACTIONS AND A-LIST TUMBLR CELEBRITIES, INCLUDING:
-some douche you never heard of
-some fag you never heard of
-some bitch you never heard of, seriously who are these people, this shit was $65 for a 3 day badge and you suckers fell for it lolololo
-some podcast which no-showed because the DashCon staff tried to pay them in PayPal screenshots and Unicon bucks
-a bunch of artists who smartened up and said fuck this judging by the empty vendor hall
-panels that make your average EFN panel circlejerk look like a Neil deGrasse Tyson roundtable...
-...and an extremely popular panel on “homoerotic subtext” in fandoms. No comment.
-the guy who played Silver Surfer in the last Fantastic Four movie which bastardized the comic so shitily that they're already rebooting it like 5 years later
-a Dr. Who band that will make you apologize to every shitty techno DJ you've ever heard remix Discooorrrrrrrd (your 3 day badge doesn't include concert admission btw)
-a bouncy castle and a kiddie pool ball pit, yes these photos are real:
-a fun-for-all-ages BDSM fetish panel
-essentially, the dregs of every loathed fandom that plagues tumblr like AIDS in Botswana:
Unfortunately, the cringetastic festivities were almost pre-emptively mercy killed when the organizers payment plan of ""I'll gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today"" was allegedly deemed unacceptable to the hotel. Thus, a massive global humanitarian effort was launched to raise the $17,000 needed to keep hope alive. Allegedly. After enough shekels were thrown via PayPal, Dashcon was saved, and the
If you're wondering where this mysterious ""$17,000"" number came from or why the hotel is denying asking for it or how its possible to pay off anybody ASAP with Paypal donations that take several days to process.....uhhh.......HEY LOOK OVER THERE~! *speeds off to Mexico*
BTW apparently DashCon LLP is a real company in Ohio....but not Illinois where this shitfest was held. So in other words, the entire affair was POTENTIALLY ILLEGAL in the first goddamn place and there's probably a V& or two in somebody's future.
Did we mention that the con admins include a teenage SJW and this guy?
Truly, it was the convention Tumblr deserved.
|From PixelKitties Tumblr|