First-Ever Tumblr Convention Goes To Shit: Nobody Is Surprised - Dashing for the Exits by


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My name is CirrusH, and for the last 24 hours I have been documenting the atrocity known as DashCon.


The rumors we were all too scared to actually consider were true: a convention run by Tumblr people, for Tumblr people. This weekend saw the rise and rapid fall of what was the first Tumblr convention. They called it DashCon, and to the disgust of many a Tumblr-using horsefaggot, it had nothing to do with a certain blue pegasus. I was shocked that I hadn't caught wind of it sooner, because apparently, it's been in the works - and even selling tickets - since last year.




The first thing I heard about DashCon was that it was shit. Hardly shocking news. But I decided to read up on it anyway, because I'm no stranger to the convention circuit, and I was curious as to how badly they'd screwed up. What I found may prove to be the worst convention fuck-up since LPU.





It started with a list of (at the time)unconfirmed rumors, including, but not limited to, an abandoned vendor hall, the exit of Welcome To Night Vale after DashCon wouldn't pay them, convention staff lying about attendee numbers, violence among attendees regarding fandom disputes, and the admittance of minors into +18 BDSM panels. DashCon attendees were invited via Tumblr to come forward to verify these rumors, and as the hours slipped by, more and more horrifyingly hilarious facts came to light as others were confirmed. The staff at DashCon ran a $17,000 fundraiser at some point on Friday night. Somehow, they managed to raise all of the requested money - which then vanished into thin air. There were reports of convention staff pushing ticket bundles onto con-goers which included passes to a non-existant Steam Powered Giraffe concert. Some panels were so poorly-organized that they were giving out hotel mints as prizes, on top of the fact that most of the contracts DashCon made were verbal-only.


You just can't make this shit up.





At around 8pm on Saturday, I got word that DashCon had created a "refund request list" somewhere at the venue, on which dissatisfied attendees could write their names to enter a queue that would supposedly see their money returned. But when the hotel started to charge people for their comp'd rooms, shit really hit the fan. Tumblr was plagued with panicked teenagers discussing fundraisers to save DashCon (again), whining about the lost fundraiser money and why wasn't it being donated to a better cause?!

So, here's where it stands, as of writing. DashCon is still a thing, and is about to start its final day. Attendee numbers are predicted as next to zero. The convention is expected to crash and burn in a spectacular display of Tumblr incompetence as the staff continue to grab money from wherever they can, and in doing so set a constant reminder of why we don't let Tumblr run things, ever.


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The Following is a Horse News White-Knight Report from a user named MCMIAG

SCHAUMBURG, AMURKA - Once upon a time, in The Land of Bad Ideas, someone decided that the world needed a tumblr fan convention. The result was Las Pegasus Unicon, Sweet Apple Acres con, and StuckCon poured into a shit blender set to ""puree"".

Enter: DASHCON (emphasis on ""CON"")

A 3 day extravaganza featuring EXCITING ATTRACTIONS AND A-LIST TUMBLR CELEBRITIES, INCLUDING:
-some douche you never heard of
-some fag you never heard of
-some bitch you never heard of, seriously who are these people, this shit was $65 for a 3 day badge and you suckers fell for it lolololo
-some podcast which no-showed because the DashCon staff tried to pay them in PayPal screenshots and Unicon bucks
-a bunch of artists who smartened up and said fuck this judging by the empty vendor hall
-panels that make your average EFN panel circlejerk look like a Neil deGrasse Tyson roundtable...

-...and an extremely popular panel on “homoerotic subtext” in fandoms. No comment.
-the guy who played Silver Surfer in the last Fantastic Four movie which bastardized the comic so shitily that they're already rebooting it like 5 years later
-a Dr. Who band that will make you apologize to every shitty techno DJ you've ever heard remix Discooorrrrrrrd (your 3 day badge doesn't include concert admission btw)
-a bouncy castle and a kiddie pool ball pit, yes these photos are real:

(1.5/10)
-a fun-for-all-ages BDSM fetish panel
-Over 7,000!!! 6,000!! 5,000! 3,000. 2,000? 1,000 fellow tumblronys in attendance, just like the organizers predicted!
-essentially, the dregs of every loathed fandom that plagues tumblr like AIDS in Botswana:




Unfortunately, the cringetastic festivities were almost pre-emptively mercy killed when the organizers payment plan of ""I'll gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today"" was allegedly deemed unacceptable to the hotel. Thus, a massive global humanitarian effort was launched to raise the $17,000 needed to keep hope alive. Allegedly. After enough shekels were thrown via PayPal, Dashcon was saved, and the marks attendees sang in joy.



If you're wondering where this mysterious ""$17,000"" number came from or why the hotel is denying asking for it or how its possible to pay off anybody ASAP with Paypal donations that take several days to process.....uhhh.......HEY LOOK OVER THERE~! *speeds off to Mexico*

BTW apparently DashCon LLP is a real company in Ohio....but not Illinois where this shitfest was held. So in other words, the entire affair was POTENTIALLY ILLEGAL in the first goddamn place and there's probably a V& or two in somebody's future.
Did we mention that the con admins include a teenage SJW and this guy?

Truly, it was the convention Tumblr deserved.


From PixelKitties Tumblr

Comments (44)

  1. I want to cum inside Ball Pit.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'd put my balls in her ball pit
      If you know what I mean

      Delete
    2. Somebody actually pissed in it

      Delete
    3. Pics or it didn't happen.

      Delete
    4. I want to cum inside Momo-chan

      Delete
  2. Wait... This is real? I thought it was just a joke that people made up and the people on the Internet played make-believe as if they were there.
    I'm stunned.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I've been following this convention a little bit as well when I read about the ball pit. Why are these organisers not tracked down so their assholes can be turned inside out for robbing people out of their life savings by scamming the hell out of them?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. If you would spend your life savings to save a pony convention, you deserve to be suckered out of your money.

      Delete
    2. ^This. Fucking this.

      Delete
    3. Anons learn to read -- Dashcon wasn't a pony convention. It was a cross-fandom tumblr convention.

      Valid point all the same XD

      Delete
    4. Remember LPU? Well we still haven't been able to find Sandi Hass and Co.

      Delete
  4. Hopefully these people are so gender confused that they havent figured out how their sexual organs work and spares the world of their genes propagating.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Apparently they had an orgy. I'm so sorry to have to be the bearer of bad news. On the hilarious side, apparently crabs went around their orgy.

      Delete
    2. Don't worry their anti-patriarchy men hating ideology plus their huge manatee body size and tuna fish body odor will ensure their genes will not survive to further contaminate the gene pool.

      Delete
  5. Lol having the organization for a con in a different state doesn't mean it's holding an illegal event. A ton of cons do that.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah, most companies are incorporated in Delaware. There's enough dumb shit here to make fun of without making stuff up.

      Delete
    2. It matters if they operate as a for-profit, not-for-profit, or non-profit event and don't file with the state they're in. ILearn to read, numbnuts, it says in there that they didn't file ANYTHING.

      So, an out-of-state corporation collected money and left with it, without filing with the tax agency. That may qualify as evasion.

      Numbnuts.

      Delete
  6. Jesus Christ DashCon stop it. You're making bronies look good.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah...but the autistic bronies can actually pull of a semisuccessful con. This is why we dont let landwhales and sjws run things.

      Delete
    2. BronyCon looks like Valhalla when compared to DashCon
      At least brony conventions are fun to attend to, and not as much shitlords as you'd expect, so that's good

      Delete
  7. Don't worry, we're only half-way through the brony con season; there's still plenty of time for us to drop the spaghetti. You could also follow the antics of SAA v2, Southern Skies Pony Jubilee. SSPJ appears to have a con chair, an art department, and little else. The drama can't be too far away with a certain twice fired alicorn at the top.

    ReplyDelete
  8. >a convention run by Tumblr people, for Tumblr people
    This is the part where everyone should have stopped reading.

    ReplyDelete
  9. What in the actual fuck is this. They took $17,000 from random people at the con via paypal donations. Didn't the attendees have to pay for there own hotel rooms, or have it included in the price?
    What possible reason would they have to pledge money. Someone explain this shit.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Because the gay man asked them to of course. What kind of SJW would you be if you didn't just hand over your dad's money to the first crying homosexual you saw? That's an ally's purpose after all.

      Delete
  10. Well this certainly is an interesting development.

    ReplyDelete
  11. There's a lot of cute grills in that video though; too bad they're as dumb as rocks apparently

    ReplyDelete
  12. Yo, the last picture was a reddit meetup, not Dashcon

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. yeah they were trying to do a harlem shake vid during that IIRC

      Delete
  13. We can't call this thing DashCon anymore for fear that someone might link it with us, or go all-out and say the whole thing was organized by bronies/horsefuckers to suck shekels from poor innocent tumblrinas.

    I move we call this event "- con" to avoid confusion.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm already just calling it, "that tumblr con," myself.

      When I first heard of it I was afraid that it was directly MLP-related because of "Dash," but then I remembered that tumblr uses a "dash"board. so then I was greatly relieved.

      Delete
    2. It was going to be called Tumblr Con at first, but then Tumblr told them to fuck off. really.

      Delete
  14. Is that MOTHERFUCKING APRIL "PINKIEPONY" DAVIS I SEE IN THAT MOTHERFUCKING BALL PIT?!

    By the way, anyone else actually remember April "PinkiePony" Davis? Down With Molestia? Anyone?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. yes and I wish that she would just go the fuck away and take her insufferable stuck-up circle jerk with her

      Delete
  15. "and this guy"

    Which guy? I think you're missing a link or a photo. I'm curious to see what "this guy" looks like now.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. he is referring to himself

      Delete
  16. This convention doesn't even deserve to be called a convention. And from the looks of my Tumblr dashboard, pretty much everyone is severely disgusted by this shit.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Everyone on my dash is outraged also.

      Delete
  17. Poor Dash didn't deserve that to her name.
    Fucking Dashboard...

    ReplyDelete
  18. Cringing at this is pretty rich coming from a website with that fucking #pantyhorse thing in the sidebar. Take a look at yourselves lmao

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Horse News doesn't have a ball pit.

      Check and mate.

      Delete
    2. How is horse news successfully getting people to send them pictures of thier underwear cringey?

      Delete
    3. Anon #1 is jelly because noone sends him underwear selfies

      Delete
  19. Some TV displays
    Mordo crosswords solutions search the definition and find out all the possible answers mordo crossword information should pass freely
    Some TV displays comment

    ReplyDelete
  20. Guys. Guys. Hey, guys. Did you know that Dashcon was the most ethnically diverse con EVER, and that you're all being very racist/sexist/homophobic/etc. with all these death threats you're making?

    ReplyDelete