Patreon is a website that the Analysis youtubers have taken to as of late in an attempt to shill money out of the community for talking about colorful horseshoes. Jesse Wood is one of the few to successfully pull this off. Here's the fun part, though. Sheldog Poni, a podcast host, pledged $5,000 per review to Jesse. So Based Horsemask Reviewer obviously called him out on it, of course, and the podcast host was shamed afterwards.
Drowning in Horseshoes not only bought it, but he bought into it before Sheldog had even explained how he could afford this. Nearly in tears of joy, he asked Sheldog why he was doing this for him. His excuse for being able to donate $5,000 a video was, "I have cancer, and I have all this money I've saved up laying around. And fuck charity."
After an hour of being in a call with several extremely autistic, annoying bronies (including myself), in attempt to give back for Based Sheldog's kindness, which can be listened to here, another analyst with half a brain by the name of Gibbontake informed Jesse that the entire thing was a scam.
Making his way to his Patreon page, Jesse proceeded to ban Sheldog from pledging, returning his income to $471.50 a video. Which, while a fairly large amount, now seemed to be mere pocket change by comparison. Finally, he proceeded to drown his shame in copious amounts of cheap beer.
It is written in our most ancient of books that, since Sheldog managed to outshill Jesse in a fair shill-off, he is to be crowned the new Fandom Hero. As we look forward to a new era of pointless drama, I, for one, welcome our new Canadian overlord who, quite literally, is fighting cancer at every moment.
And for all of you out there who pledge to give Mr. Wood your hard earned cash, for videos that he does not necessarily even enjoy making, we would like to offer you a different, more rewarding business proposal. Instead you should donate with enthusiasm towards our Mobile Action News Party Van. This van isnt some inane, trite petty virtual bullshit. No no no, it is a real life, rolling mass of 2 tons of pure drug induced lunacy. A simple youtube video offers you 5 to ten minutes of cheap tricks and silly laughs, and probably needs just the same amount of time to create. A party van though, lasts a lifetime, and is an investment you wont regret!