Attempting to join the Rift Café Skype Chat by


A lot of people seem put off by the Brony Autist Analysis community. With good reason, though. Some things they spit out are downright cringeworthy. But are they really as bad as people make them out to be? Find out below the page break!
For starters, let's find their meeting grounds. Their preferred area to circlejerk and challenge each other for analysis mating partners. At first glance, it seems as if there IS no gathering. They simply message each other when they want to do a collab about which is best Princess. Which is hardly analysis, when you think about it, since it's just opinion. However, the writer has had many run-ins with the group and knows where they gather.

The Rift Café.

The Rift Café. You'll never find a more wretched hive of autism and spaghetti.


On first glance, the site actually looks relatively tolerable. The color scheme matches nicely. Pictures in appropriate places. No weird MLP mouse changer. I looked through the sidebar, and then I saw a button that redirected to "Analysis Subreddit." Oh boy, now we're getting to the good stuff. Right below that was a button that redirected to a page about their Skype Chat.

Being a man with an ego the size of Texas, I couldn't turn down a round of circlejerking. Apparently, all I needed to do was contact some guy and I was in. Oh, and have three analysis videos up, but I'm sure they'd wave that requirement. Autism couldn't afford to be picky, right?

O-Okay...

No tears were shed. None. It's not like I had my ego torn down by being rejected by someone like him. I simply moved on and decided to see how else I might be able to weasel my way into the chat. I did have a lot of them in my Skype contacts. Perhaps I could use someone I knew to help me in. It would be a short stay, because Stupid OC  AMaleAlicorn was sure to remove me as soon as he was aware of my presence. However, in that time, I could find out everything I needed to know. But first, I needed a believable reason.

Jackpot!

Finally! After all these minutes attempting to enter their sanctum, I would finally have a chance to see whether or not they were actually autistic. I entered the chat. I greeted them and re-explained my reason. Surely they would greet me as if I was one of their ow-

Well, there you have it. I've gotten kicked out before finding out anything exposed what the Rift Café is really like. If any of you are interested in attempting to join their ranks, there's a link to their site on the sidebar down below. The site has all the information you need to join them. It's been a pleasure reporting for you.

http://www.mlpanalysis.com/about/

Comments (52)

  1. Your first mistake was telling them who you were.

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  2. Fucking retard lawl

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    Replies
    1. says the guy saying "lawl"

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  3. I don't think DigiBro is in that rift cafe.

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    1. he didn't say he was, doe.

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    2. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  4. I know who vida is, so I wasn't about to let him screw around and cause a mess in a chat that is my responsibility to deal with. The website isn't at all associated with the skype group, they simply made a post about the group (without consulting me first I might add).

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    1. why are you guarding your little skype group chat like it's fort knox? it's simple to clean up a mess when all it takes is the click of a button. i don't know who you are, but you seem like a paranoid little bitch that takes no risks in his life.

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    2. Because I am the one that has to deal with all the people in the chat being butt hurt, and vida (the guy who posted this) is a mentally unstable cunt.

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    3. AMale Alicorn I'd like to see your three analysis videos which gave you the right to be in that chat.

      You don't make exceptions after all, right?

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    4. Still waitin' on those links AMA, can I get a timetable on them at least?

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    5. Here, I think I found his videos
      >http://bit.ly/1n1pgzs
      Hope this helps!

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  5. this article sucks

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    1. your mom sucks

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    2. fucking got him

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  6. A "No" is still a "No" so you brought that on yourself dude. Your Article is pathetic.

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    1. you're the only pathetic person here you stupid fucking nerd

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    2. Right back at you doll face. Now go wait in the car and think about your meaning.

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  7. Is the hole point of the comment section just for people to insult each other? you seem fairly reasonable so I figured you would be a good person to ask.

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    1. It's an opinion based comment section, and there's something called freedom of speech. The "hole" point of the comment section is what the community makes of it, that's the point. You can easily avoid it by not commenting.

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    2. That's what the whole internet is for. Fuck.

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  8. I sure wish we were reading about Draft Con instead of this sad, drippy article THAT GOES NOWHERE.

    Seriously Vido. Why even bother? "Ooo some brownies didn't want me involved in their stupid club for stupid brunies. A-phffpht!"

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    1. spoiler: nothing happened at draftcon

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  9. Kudos to malicorn for making sure the analyst group wouldn't get any sort of fair assessment and be ridiculed in the comment section of this article!

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    1. It's simple, really. Show Horse News that you're butthurt, and you're only going to dig yourself deeper into the pit. Case in point: Malicorn's glorious "Autism Speaks" button on the front page!

      Play along, take a joke, and show that you are, in fact, not taking yourself seriously when push comes to shove, and everyone wins. Accept the horsecock, and you won't get raped. Simple as that!

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  10. Ok, I'm past the point of confused in regards to this article. There are people who are saying digibrony is a biased asshole because he's horsefamous for injecting his personal opinions into episodes he's supposed to be "analyzing." Now Horse News is on the defensive for allegedly acting like a plum fool. And I can't tell if it's Vida, Malicorn, or any of DigiBronies other people for acting like some elitist creepazoids. Can someone put this newfag(me) in their place and shed some light on the situation so that I'm no longer confused, that I know the truth, and know who truly is at fault?

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    1. Digibrony has long since left the 'rift cafe' and he has nothing to do with them.
      Vido has been known for 'collecting bronalysis' people, bragging about being best buds with digi and being an overall nuisance to most rift cafe members, from what I hear. I'm guessing Vido's just venting some pent up anger because most people in that skype chat have him blocked by now due to his rather undesirable behavior. Amale, although a person I personally do not always agree with, was in the right to just kick him out. Afterall, just looking at how he starts off this article you can tell Vido never had the intention of being fair in his assessment of the group. This article is literally just shit slinging without any proof other than him getting kicked from a chat he was not even supposed to be in. (he doesn't even qualify, nuisance or no)
      That's my two cents, take it as you will.

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    2. I understand. If that's the case, then this is a little embarrassing for Horse News to have even published this article in the first place.

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    3. Oh-ho man did you ever come to the wrong place for a "fair and balanced view point".
      The fact these people's feather got ruffled over the slightest insult proves just how ripe they were for mocking.
      If you don't like it, tough titties.
      Please, don't let the door hit your ass on the way out.

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    4. It's not the insult, It's the fact it's coming from Vido.

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  11. this article a shit

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    1. Anon shitposts about a shitpost. nothing to see here.

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  12. Man this is one of the most autistic article I have seen on here yet. I hope the author realizes just how tiny his dick is and moves on to do something else.

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    1. Confirmed for Rift shill

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  13. The Rift Internet Defence Force sure is strong in the comments here.

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    1. Also, a bunch of faggots who like to demonise people for having the audacity to be outspoken or have those archaic "rule" things.

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    2. I'm fairly certain the Rift's damage control is led by and consists only of Amailicorny. Nobody else seems to really care.

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  14. Hiatus syndrome is strong in this article.

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  15. Yet another fine example of Horse News journalism: an article about how they wanted to write an article but then stopped giving a fuck. Bravo!

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    1. I thought it was pretty amusing anon. And we did get so see just how much of autistic and circle-jerking the mlp analyst community is.

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  16. The analysis shit is crap.. I still am surprised so many people go with it.. it's boring and is just more or less some faggot talking for half an hour straight overanalysing what is supposed to be a show intended for all ages.

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    1. At least they could go with a show that is actually intended to be analyzed to a degree, like Gravity Falls.

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    2. Anon 1 is a retard. The fact that the show can be analysed should be a TESTAMENT to the fact that it's made for all ages.

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    3. @anon1

      I think you're generalising. Yes, most analysts are autistic as all fuck and their videos are masterpieces of cringe, as they stutter and mumble for ten minutes about bullshit. But the ones who're actually well-known (and I would include Digi in this) normally do have interesting things to say, and some of them are even pretty funny. Drowning in Horseshoes in particular is the goddamn KING of comedy when he's on his A-game. Tommy Oliver also did a pretty funny multi-part review of Equestria Girls that was a massive homage/ripoff of Plinkett's reviews of the Star Wars prequels.

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    4. digi pls go

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    5. Last anon, pls sotp bein such a queer.

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  17. Digibro has a sexy OC. I want to clean the rotten smegma from his sad, tiny little dingus.

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    1. I want Tom and Digi to beat me in the shower passionately.

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  18. Wow. So since horse news only understands 4chan speak, please just allow me to say that OP is an enormous faggot.

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