Researchers Uncover Clues to Deadly "Closed Minded" Pandemic by

Source: Derpibooru (no license provided)
 According to one of the pony fandom's top researchers[1] (also a namefagging Horse News commenter), best known for his groundbreaking[2] articles "Maybe This Universe is All a Dream" and "Why the Anti-Wolfaboos Are Very Delusional" (link is dead because the moron blocked the web archive from crawling his site), the pony fandom is suffering from an outbreak of the dreaded "Closed Minded" virus[3], and if you doubt the veracity of his claims you are probably infected by it as well. He manages to back this up with cold, hard facts and some very convincing evidence[3], so maybe you'll be cured of your infliction by reading what he has to say below the pagebreak and accepting the pure and honest truth from one of those lost, rare guys who believe in tolerance[4].

Source: Multiverse Feeling (no license provided)

 Here we have a very convincing, professional[5] graph depicting just how many bronies are infected with "Closed Minded" as compared to those who are naturally immune to the virus thanks to their superior Aryan heritage[6], with all the data contained therein being verified by reputable sources[3]. A slight error in his calculations led him to predict that Horse News played a major part in this outbreak[3], and while as open loving people we accept that there is a slight chance of this being true, we find it highly unlikely that this is actually the case[7]. There's also some red splotches that one might mistakenly believe were caused by the researcher's mouse slipping while drawing this in Microsoft Word or something, but they're actually quite important and you shouldn't forget about these just yet[8].

 We at Horse News would also like to remind you that by merely reading this and examining the charts, you are being healed and systematically purged of all Closed Minded, leaving you as an Open Loving individual who will help make this world a much better place[9]. Spread the word amongst your friends and family!

Source: Multiverse Feeling (no license provided)

 Butt weight, there's more! Something terrible is clearly happening in this illustration and we aren't sure what it is, so we've gone to our source for an extremely detailed, scientific description by the visionary himself.
"there was two main things: "Science", and "Society". I decided to use part of the whole picture and post it on here.
The "red" goes crazy, it breaks out of it's "100%" box, and forms a fast virus growth. It goes far that is goes in some kind of "black hole"...
It's funny actually but kind of true... Sadly."
- Jesse King [3]
 Well there you have it, folks: apparently the Closed Minded virus will grow incredibly large and summon a black hole to devour the earth[3], and unless you take the initiative to forward this post to everybody that you know we are all screwed[10]. Since the fate of the world and whatnot is at hand, it's probably for the best that you don't skimp on this incredibly important task; everybody must see this article or they will all be stretched into spaghetti by the black hole as punishment from our Lord and Savior Fritters Tartface[11].

"For the world was darkness, until he will bring light, as foretold by Julius in the Lament of Proverbials."
- Book of Capitations 1:3[12]

IMPORTANT COPYRIGHT NOTICE: AT THE TIME OF THIS ARITCLE ALMOST ALL THINGS FROM THE WELL-REGARDED "MULTIVERSE FEELING" BLOG DO NOT HAVE ANY COPYRIGHT NOTICE OR LISTED LICENSE WHATSOEVER[13], ASIDE FROM THIS ONE POST WHICH IS APPARENTLY LICENSED UNDER THE CC 3.0[14] (OR MAYBE 2.5 IF YOU COUNT THIS EMAIL HE SENT ME A COUPLE WEEKS AGO[15]), DONUT STEEL AND REFRAIN FROM PLAGIARISM OR LYING OR SAYING MEAN THINGS ON THE INTERNET, OR ELSE WWWAREA WILL GET YOU IN LEGAL TROUBLE OR SOMETHING[16].


References
  1. Trish, Whyte. "Too Many Niggers in America's Schools," Texan Bronies Weekly, 10(23):30.
  2. Queen, Incest. "My Brother Wears a Fedora, So What?," Jessica's School Gossip, 5(3):13.
  3. King, Jesse (2014-05-13). "One of The Most Tolerated...wait". Multiverse Feeling.
  4. King, Jesse (2014-05-05). "Reaction to a Very Offensive Video". Multiverse Feeling.
  5. Bernstein, "Pappa Bear" Mike (2014-04-26). "I think I'm ready". Twitter.
  6. Frank, Rudolph. "Proprietary Software is a Jewish Oppression," Skinheads Ohio Unite!, 45(30):22.
  7. Amused laughter in the Horse News 2.0 Skype group
  8. Tuxxy (2014-05-14). "Researchers Uncover Clues to Deadly "Closed Minded" Pandemic". Horse News
  9. King, Jesse (2014-05-29). "The Most Violated Rule of The World". Multiverse Feeling
  10. Henderson, Alfred. "Trustworthy Person on the Internet Said the World's Ending Soon," Moshpit Motherfuckers: The Only Punk/Metalcore Magazine in Medina, Ohio!, 1(1):5.
  11. Cummings, Julia. "What We Believe". Church of Fritters.
  12. Ĵӧҋη. Book of Capitations, Tartface Press, 2013, p. 1.
  13. King, Jesse. Multiverse Feeling.
  14. King, Jesse (2014-04-27). "Equestria Gaming - Review". Multiverse Feeling.
  15. King, Jesse (2014-04-29). "You have Invaded my Privacy and Infringed my Article". Email no. 8.
  16. King, Jesse (2014-04-28). "A Good Example of a Cyberbully". Multiverse Feeling.

Comments (31)

  1. This is some next level wikipedia shit

    ReplyDelete
  2. I like how you decided to put His "full" name on here... Without his permission >_>
    And you inspired me to put a CC or C notice on every blog I post now. Tuxxy.

    Oh!! You forgot something:
    "I will also say, this isn't pure accurate I think, but it sums up what I think about them in some kind of way.
    Maybe in a more science way (For the MLP one, maybe Society, maybe some other), it's actually more open? Or more not."
    From that same post who post those graphs.

    My god, you have no understanding of how things work, Tuxxy, and it is true and a good read about this "Gold Rule" thing because honestly, bullying is a real issue whether you like it or not. I find it sad that when I try to explain something, all I get is low chunk replies saying "Youra fag". And the best part that proves my theory about you and pretty much society, "Youra fag" is consider "better" than explanations probably.

    Oh and btw, just because I didn't put a notice on my posts in the first place, doesn't mean it's automatically in the public domain.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh wow hey it's the douchebag from the article

      Delete
    2. I never said that your article was in the public domain, just that there wasn't a license notice on it or your blog.

      Delete
    3. There.
      I updated my articles, some with a No. D license from the CC area.
      And one of the blogs that includes No. D is the one you are talking about on here.

      And yes, people can legit update there "Copyright" as I heard.

      Delete
    4. @Anonymous
      I was mainly talking to that Tuxxy kid. Unless you are the same guy?

      Anyway, yeah maybe, but what else is it on if it's not? I guess I could say "Copyright" as from some strange law or something, people are automatically set to Copyright when something is made or something.

      Delete
    5. They can update copyright, yes, but not enforce it retroactively.

      Besides, I already sourced your shit and included a copyright notice/disclaimer and whatnot so sod off.

      Delete
    6. "They can update copyright, yes, but not enforce it retroactively."
      Proof please?

      "so sod off."
      Yeah when you talk random crap from a blog that is at least trying and stuff, I won't.

      You know what? I think I am just going to update that blog article and put a C only notice telling others they can't re post at all unless it's fair and not-lying, making this blog removed.. Why, why would I abuse my own damn will again? For safe reasons. For now.. Guess I will be honest then.
      Especially since you took my graph way too fucking seriously, even though it's probably close to true. Hey man, just reporting what I experience around from meanings!

      Delete
    7. For proof, I could cite an open source project named Frogatto which eventually changed its assets to a nonfree license and started charging for the game. However, they weren't able to retroactively enforce this on pre-existing copies and older builds of the game, so you can still get it for free on various distro repos.

      Delete
    8. In a possible way, yeah but legally the guy may have the legal right to stop.. Honestly I don't give a crap when it comes to freedom and downloads, but we are talking about article posts.

      I think for article postings, people can legit update there Copyright info, and have people to respect wishes I heard.

      Besides, the blogs are automatically started out as a Copyright (Not a free-CC 0 license). Which could further prove the right to ask people to take this down..

      Delete
    9. pffft you are all kinds of mad right now. Tell your anti brony circlejerk that /mlp/ may not be bronies, but holy shit you guys makes us feel better that we are not that autistic

      Delete
    10. Then you better lawyer up, because otherwise our lawyers will crush you.

      Delete
    11. @Chelis
      "but holy shit you guys makes us feel better that we are not that autistic" Oh here we go again, with the stereotypes and the rude offensive shit against them eh?
      Here, let me equally fair this out:
      I feel even more better that I'm not a brony, nor am I straight.

      Delete
    12. If you like My Little Pony, you're a Brony. Simple as that.

      /mlp/ doesn't count since we don't like the show all that much anymore.

      Delete
    13. @wwwarea thats fine, but the shit you post is cringe worthy and your "licensing" shtick is really making you look dumb. I mean if you are not ok with people laughing on you on the internet, consider deleting your tumblr.

      @anon (propably wwwarea drone)
      >if you like mlp you are a brony
      pfffffffffffffffffttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt, nice bait, but ant gonna work

      Delete
    14. See this is the shit that gets you your own article

      Delete
    15. *watches Michael Jackson eat popcorn*

      Delete
    16. It's like people think that somehow, by adding a couple lines of text to a bit of writing, something is copyright protected. That's a laugh. And even if you did get it copyrighted, there is this little phrase called "Ex Post Facto" that comes to mind. So it is with laws, so it is with copyright. You can't punish people for crimes an hour ago when the rule/law was made fifteen minutes ago.

      Delete
    17. wwwarea fails basic written copyright law. Excerpts were used, with attribution, in another written work for illustrative purposes and did not comprise the majority of the work; this falls completely under fair use in the United States. If wwwarea doesn't want anyone to reproduce their very special drivel then they'd need to use a EULA.

      Delete
    18. Using works to make fun of someONE, doesn't fall as "Fair Use".
      http://copyright.columbia.edu/copyright/fair-use/what-is-fair-use/
      You must make fun of the work it's self, and only.
      Using a purpose on the side of another purpose, fails to become a fair use.


      the purpose and character of the use, including whether such use is of a commercial nature or is for nonprofit educational purposes;
      the nature of the copyrighted work;
      the amount and substantiality of the portion used in relation to the copyrighted work as a whole; and
      the effect of the use upon the potential market for or value of the copyrighted work.

      All is required and must be a "SOLE" purpose.
      This also fails to be any form of education, as a sole purpose either.

      Oh!
      http://www.teachingcopyright.org/handout/fair-use-faq
      This talks stuff against things that this one other article, and even possibly this, has actually did.
      Interesting...
      This post fails to fall under fair use. Period.. Yet, it doesn't sound "fair" at all.

      Oh and by the way, satire doesn't count as fair use. There is a difference between parody, and satire.

      Yet, ignoring the above of what I said, this article, and all the other ones, are very UNCLEAR on whether it counts as "Fair Use".

      Note to self here:
      Some people on here may conclude my sayings the wrong way again, like what some already been doing.

      Delete
    19. Anything here that doesn't fall under fair use falls under free speech.

      Delete
    20. Free speech is consider applied as long if no Copyrighted work is used.
      As much as I want it to be but when Copyrighted work is used during "free speech", that doesn't make it a pass. You should study more.

      Delete
    21. "@wwwarea thats fine, but the shit you post is cringe worthy and your "licensing" shtick is really making you look dumb. I mean if you are not ok with people laughing on you on the internet, consider deleting your tumblr.

      Actually no, it's not "worthy" for humor. What IS worthy for humor though is people trying to say "bullshit" against me, without proving there points. Now THAT is worthy.

      "@anon (propably wwwarea drone)
      >if you like mlp you are a brony
      pfffffffffffffffffttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt, nice bait, but ant gonna work "
      Well, umm, OK... Guess what? I don't like it either (However, calling me a brony for liking the idea of tolerance is BS).

      Delete
  3. Holy shit, the autism.

    ReplyDelete
  4. It was too painful to read, so I stopped.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Holy sweet Jesus, it's not even a week into the hiatus and drama is already happening.

    ReplyDelete
  6. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Since the assdamaged autist deleted his post, here's an archived version: https://derpiboo.ru/627076

    ReplyDelete
  8. This is gold.

    ReplyDelete
  9. The article combined with the butthurt in the comments was hilarious.

    ReplyDelete
  10. "King, Jesse (2014-05-13). "One of The Most Tolerated...wait". Multiverse Feeling."
    You do know, Tuxxy, that when you link to a "source", it must be linked to the actual page of where the content, was originally placed.

    -Meaning of source

    ReplyDelete