Kentucky Derby today, Horse-News picks champions. by


Today marks the opening of the 2014 Kentucky Derby, an American tradition dating back to 1875 at Churchill Downs, Kentucky. Some of the top racehorses in the nation will be competing for the Garland of Roses, in the most exciting 2 minutes of Sports. Which 3-year thoroughbred will come out on top this year? Horse-News has our bets on the horse with the name most befitting victory: Candy Boy. Grab your Mint Julep and lets head to the analyst room for the pre-race predictions.


Horse-News picks its favorite racehorses, the same way it picks its favorite cartoon horses - by what we assume they taste like with well-reasoned analysis and in-depth logistical research (With an exception, one of the staff members picks winners by making silicone replicas of the Horses and seeing which one feels the best). Now, currently, the odds against Candy Boy are 15-1, which doesn't make him a favorite, but what good sports movie is ever about the most-likely candidate winning? Exactly. Current bets are at just over 9000 dollars (cant make that up) for Candy Boy. Candy Boy's jockey (who is clearly Agent Smith from the Matrix), also wears the color Purple, the official Sports Team colors of /mlp/.


Did we mention that the Jockey for Candy boy is actually the star of the movie Seabiscuit, who came out of retirement to continue racing even though he is over 50 years old?
What did we say about underdog sports movies?

Now, our team of highly-trained sports analysts HAVE been known to make mistakes from time to time, and as such have provided the other 2 top picks for the race, if you want to try for a trifecta. Both currently pitted at 8-1 odds, the horses "Tapiture" (yes, Tap It U R), and Intense Holiday, both seem like pretty good picks for the weekend.

The race itself happens tonight at roughly 6:24 PM Eastern, we will try to locate a stream for the events.

You are also now aware that today's "Equestria Games" episode was intentionally slated to be shown the same day as the Kentucky Derby.


Comments (2)

  1. They choose the Kentucky Derby instead of the winner Olympics?

    ReplyDelete
  2. Remember when the Kentucky Derby was more than a quaint cultural artifact? Me neither.

    ReplyDelete