Horse News Draws for jimmies by


We here at Horse News are not shy at all to controversy or even the trivial jabs at our writing abilities. However, after responding to our Cringe Corner article, user xxxSnIpErStOoXeYbBYxxXD went over the line and said we either don't draw or can't draw well ourselves.  My god that's simply terrible, as well as insensitive. In fact we were so insulted we wanted to showcase our incredible abilities in a new series we like to call "Horse News Draws". 
But what exactly did we draw? We wanted to create pieces that would fit the spirit of our site and the board that spawned us, while all together having a deeper meaning than what's on the face, certainly not like some disney drawing.

Rainbow Dash with her favorite phallic objects seemed appropriate.

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MLPcritic - "Rainbow's Lament"


This first piece is from yours truly. A simple yet powerful representation of the frustrations of the Horse News work force. Notice the use of text in reference to old Political Cartoons of old. Showing the work load placed upon the "awesome" shoulders of Rainbow Dash, mixed with the perversion of the real world. By far the weakest of the pieces in this showcase, but important none the less. 

Ren Haru - "Gluttony of the Equestrian Horde"


Our next piece is from the tortured mind of the only vagina-clad member of the crew, as she shows the darker side of the equines we know and love. The harsh reality of their gluttony can only be shown by the most verbal of them all in a disgusting conquest of penis-shaped meatball sandwiches. The darker tones add a sense of dread to the viewer, as if you are at the trough now, watching her devour such monstrosities, leaving you questioning your feeble existence.

Malic - "Never 4get friendships past"

Respectful. Beautiful. Many words can describe this masterpiece from the brilliant mind of Magic Malic. Turning his respects to the victims of Columbine, Malic paints a picture of lust and mourning. Death is present in the lettuce of the towering sandwich, as if it could crumble down in a heap at any second. Can Rainbow overcome this tragedy? Does she have a strong enough will? Truly this piece can answer these question with some thought.

Smigglypuff - "Et Screw, Rainbow?"


A statement on the repressed sexuality of the modern female, Smigglypuff's piece paints the tale of sexual revolution. You are meant to be angered, to be wary, and to be rustled. The reds represent the woman in all of us, regardless of gender, and screams for the viewer to celebrate that. Truly not for the young, the adult piece knows how to convey the themes of lust and misogyny, and when we say misogyny we don't mean it in the way Tumblr uses it.

Jim - "Ejakulat tief in mir"


Rustic, rough, the true style of our next artist Jim. This piece celebrates the past, even in it's hammy ways. With the German culture flourishing in it's abundance, we get an international view of superior ideals and style. Life and Death. Not only that, the seven sins of both man and Equestrian alike are perfectly displayed, giving the dirty look of human imperfection.

RariStalin Rarifag - "Sucker Projections no. 42"


A self portrait? Personal reflection? The master of self pleasure and bright coloring, Rarifag found a way to indulge this piece in complete and total joy, almost to the point of an overload. The swirl of the juicy wet lollipop circles in to the mind and forces utter joy to the forefront in ways one only experiences in childhood. Vibrant colors and the utter enjoyment of Rainbow Dash causes one to crack a smile and leave it there.

Tuxxy - "Hell is war"


In this age of big budget military, it's nice to see artists like Tuxxy have the balls to fight the military industrial complex with the power of the canvas. Blood is represented in the rainbow splattered on to the canvas, misshapen and ugly. In contrast, the structured and powerful frame of the tank shows the impending doom. The fact that this piece also contains an allusion to soldier/police brutality and uses a pony to represent this brings this together perfectly.

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There you have the first exhibit in the Horse News Draws series. It may not be perfect, but the point is it's our art and we love it. No matter what some haters may say, if you ignore the negativity, things will calm down and won't escalate. We have broken this rule once in the spirit of artists. Just remember, "not responding" is the golden rule of the internet.



We may not be artists, but hey at least we're not the writers behind any Adam Sandler films. Horse-News isn't nearly that bad.

Comments (14)

  1. Horse News should auction off paintings for charity.

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  2. Unless you claim to be able to draw better, there's nothing wrong with someone who can't draw criticizing someone else's work. You don't have to be good at something to recognize when someone else is shit at it.

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  3. Id like to purchase "Never 4get friendships past" for several shekels please.

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  4. >2014
    >Still believing you need to be an artist first to be a critic.

    I have no idea which autist first came up with this mindset, but it's a concept that has enraptured the feeble-minded and incompetent for what seems like forever now, and I kind of wish it would go away. It's more annoying than funny at this point. Can you imagine what the world would be like if everyone who wanted to say that a movie was a piece of shit had to first go out and make a good movie of their own to prove that they knew what they were talking about?

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  5. Seconding the motion for HN to auction off the paintings for charity. I would toss a shekel at it.

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  6. Some of these are actually really great holy crud. I would totally hang the heil ham one up in my room if I had it, and the hell is war one also if only the lady cop didn't have a trumpet penis. You should seriously start an auction though, if I had any money I would totally bid

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    Replies
    1. Ill sell you mine for a date and cheap bottle of liqour

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    2. You jest, but I'd seriously like to buy "Ejakulat tief in mir" so that I can frame it and put it on my night-stand, and then gaze at it each morning after I wake up.

      (seriously, email me)

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  7. As someone who has held a pencil a few times and used it on a sheet once in a while (plus a little jerking around photoshop, etc) I understand what goes into drawing something and trying to make it something you can be proud of.
    Therefore I can also say if you don't/won't accept the fact that your style WILL be unappealing to some and that you sometimes have to admit your own faults and weaknesses (mostly because the style is severely lacking in this case) you should stop publishing your work entirely.

    Because no one will look at that version of Pinkie Pie without thinking "OH-K-K-K-K-K-ROCKSO! MADE HIS WAY ONTO THE LOT WITH THE CHRISTMAS PARTY BABY!" and so on.

    I hope people realize Horse News is not here to help anyone, just by the bye.

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  8. I love this more than you could know.

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  9. I fucking love you, you stupid faggots.

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  10. needs more milky way

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    1. Horse News Draws for dairy coming up

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  11. When it comes to the argument that you need to be good at something in order to criticize people who are doing it, I love to quote the "Can you do better?" page from lousybookcovers.com:

    "If you insist that one must be able to do better in order to criticize legitimately, then you have publicly forfeited forever your right to express a negative opinion of:

    a restaurant meal, unless you are a chef
    an 18-wheeler’s driving, unless you have a CDL
    an athlete’s performance, unless you are a professional athlete (and a game strategy, unless you are a professional coach)
    a pop singer, unless you are a professional musician
    a movie, unless you are a member of the DGA
    an elected official, unless you hold public office…"

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