Tuesday, 27 May 2014

Equestrian states secede from the fandom, take Fort Tumblr


#shotsfired on Fort Tumblr, as the Confederate Equestrian States have seceded from the fandom, in an effort to create a new fandom, unaffiliated with the Bronies. Confurriate General "Stonewall" Pawsmilk captured Fort Tumblr  9 hours ago with an army of over 3000 notes, enough to take the tiny segment of the Brony nation with it. Word eventually reached fandom headquarters in Washington EQD via telegraph.

President Sethisto Lincoln has responded to the secession by stating that "A fandom divided against itself cannot stand", shortly before returning to playing League of Legends and letting his Generals handle the rest.


The State of GCC was among the revolting separatists, joined by the State of CatFoodMcFly, noting
that the "New Fandom" made from pieces of the old, was a "super idea" and promising to "bring the porn".



Notorious alcoholic General Ulysses S. Capper of the founding colonies of /b/ and /co/ has begun marching brony troops into the Tumblr states to enforce the "Emancipation of Clopulation", in which President Sethisto has ordered all of the pornography in the rebelling states to be freed and returned to the fandom.

Rumor has it that the Brony Army is promising "40 upvotes and a mule" to every clop-artist that volunteers to fight the rebel cause.



Meanwhile, more and more rebels join the separatist's cause, citing that they don't like the way some groups are behaving, and despite their behavior isn't being directly imposed upon them, they still feel threatened by it, and believe they would be better off on their own.

The Separatists, with their newly elected Confederate president Jefferson Davis April Davis demand the right to own slaves total gender neutrality, and to sever all ties with the preexisting fandom.


Journalists and leaders throughout the fandom have criticized the separatist's actions as being fruitless and childish, as there are no true borders between fans, and the community could never support such a disharmonious relationship. Battle cries of "Deaths to the Separatists" have been heard throughout the community.

Still others point out that the idea is just flat-out stupid.


Many citizens of the rebelling nations do not personally wish to secede from the fandom, but will fight only to fit in with their home community.

For now the war against the rebelling states rages on.
Analysts predict a victory for the Brony nation over the separatists, due to their overwhelming resources and abundance of logic supplies.

77 comments:

  1. The fact that toxic has rather arbitrary meaning is all that needs to be said. This is remarkbly dumb,this is all something to make people feel good about themselves when "brony" was just a silly term as shorthand term for saying you were a fan of the show.

    Also Props for the Civil war references.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I can't tell if they're serious, they know the south lost the war right?

      Delete
  2. inb4 no one outside the fandom cares
    inb4 the people you're avoiding will join the "new" fandom anyway
    inb4 new new fandom is created
    inb4 new new new fandom is created

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I wish to bludgeon the asses of anybody who dares join said "new fandom".

      Delete
    2. Well, no, but people are almost certainly going to troll the living fuck out of them.

      This hiatus is going to be fun.

      Delete
    3. I agree ^^ Want some popcorn?

      Delete
    4. Hell, I'm in the fandom, and I don't care!

      Delete
  3. inb4 I hate you Anonymous guy
    inb4 fedoras

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This fandom doesn't wear fedoras, they wear Trilbys. Fedoras are actually cool.

      Delete
    2. I don't know which is worse, the fact that I actually know what the difference between a Trilby and a Fedora is, or the fact I'm actually care enough about it to say the anon ahead of me is right, and that the vast majority of the internet is wrong.

      ...

      Probably the first one, though.

      Delete
    3. A trilby is a type of fedora you fucktards.

      Delete
    4. Both are still hideously fugly hats. Rara knows what's what. We be rockin' tricorns for twilicorn!

      Delete
    5. A trilby is NOT a type of fedora. Indiana Jones wears a fedora. Trilbys are lame

      Delete
    6. Trilbys and Fedoras are mainstream... I wear Stetsons .3.

      Delete
    7. What ever happened to the ball cap?

      Delete
    8. I don't wear hats.

      Delete
    9. FEZZES ARE COOL! THE WHOVIANS JOIN THE BATTLE!

      Delete
  4. This is pretty stupid, but I've been wrong before.
    It could get stupider.

    ReplyDelete
  5. tfw this sounds too similar to the parody name from that Bob's Burgers episode.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Maybe we should start calling them Equesticles from now on. Seems appropriate.

      Delete
    2. Seriously. Amazing work Ren.

      Delete
    3. Lol that's exactly what I thought of when I read this too. Plus, this is one of the stupidest things I've heard. Ever. Why the hell do you need to change the name? Its still the same fandom, no matter what its called. We share a common interest in ponies, and if there isn't a dividing difference between equestrians and bronies, then... What the hell. Why not just make another name for bronies. Call it "Clopfags." and another named "Lyra holes." and another named "Octavians" (for musicians.)

      Delete
    4. Reminds me of the "Trekkies" "Trekkers" non-issue. they both like Star Trek so who cares about the difference?

      Delete
  6. See Burned Furs of the Furry Fandom you guys are catching up fast.

    ReplyDelete
  7. All I see is tumblr being buttfuck retarded as usual.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Did someone say fandom war?
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PYzRbdHvb3s

    ReplyDelete
  9. How about we now call ourselves horsefuckers? That's genderneutral.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. See, that's what these people don't understand, the toxic part of the fandom already did the splitting off, they are now the horsefuckers.
      We bronies are still the same as ever.

      Delete
    2. > calling horsefuckers "toxic"

      Go back to EqD.

      Delete
  10. 10/10 would history again

    ReplyDelete
  11. This is it. It's here. This is the culmination of all the bullshit recently. We have reached the top of the ride and can see the entire park.

    And it's so fucking stupid.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Welcome to summer. Please leave your common sense and your waifu dakimakura at the door.

      Delete
    2. Some people would have you think that the toxic part of the fandom, the bronies, NEVER go anywhere without their waifu dakimakura.

      Delete
  12. I really hate tumblr. Seriously.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Let me introduce you to my new, three shades of dark red & black alicorn OC with bright green eyes: Total War!

    ReplyDelete
  14. I humbly offer my poor quality clop drawing skills to the cause. Direct my fire, commander.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Add horsecocks and crotchboobs to the pony mouthpiece images.

      Delete
  15. Let us use the heat of our atomic love to melt the special snowflakes.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, and then we shall salt the earth as the Romans did Carthage so that no fan shall bear witness again the spaghetti to be told of in stories for generations to come.

      Delete
  16. A rebellion in the fandom?

    Discord_-_I'm_gonna_need_more_popcorn.mp4

    ReplyDelete
  17. Derp"mum i'm not longer a brony! i'm an equestrian!"
    Mum"what's that?"
    Derp"uh it's basically the same thing without porn"
    Mum"how long do you think it'll be before there is porn of it?"
    Derp"not long"
    Mum"what's the point?"
    Derp"uh...... I'M AN INDIVIDUAL I DO WHAT I WANT"

    Utterly pointless it's like "we're doing something different, by doing the exact same thing everyone else is doing!"

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. "we're doing something different, by doing the exact same thing everyone else is doing!"
      Well isn't that just super meta.

      Delete
    2. Exactly. This whole idea is completely stupid. Is this just a group of Non-Cloppers? They don't have to "leave" the fandom for that reason!

      Delete
  18. This isn't the dumbest thing to come out of the fandom, but it's a competitor. You gotta love Tumblr sometimes. They're just so precious.

    ReplyDelete
  19. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5HeZtFH1Trg

    ReplyDelete
  20. alright, good luck with that, person-who-put-it-together.

    ReplyDelete
  21. Oh great... I can't wait for this to be over.

    ReplyDelete
  22. "Why not use 'Equrstrians'?" Because that word already has a definition :-/

    While I can see why people may want a more gender-neutral word, this mostly just strikes me as rampant hipster-ism.

    ReplyDelete
  23. Seriously, people? Season 4 just ended 3 weeks ago and we already need to manufacture some kind of controversy to pass the time? No fandom is ever going to be perfect, and we bronies are no exception. The "separatists" do seem to have some good ideas - i.e. gender neutrality and minimizing the role that hardcore clop plays in the mainstream image of the fandom - but these are things we should be (and, I think, have been) striving towards as a GROUP.

    How about saying something like: "Hey, maybe we could use 'Equestrians' as a new gender neutral term for bronies/pegasisters! Also, let's try to be a better fandom in these specific ways!"

    Instead of: "We don't want to be associated with you toxic people anymore! Let's make our own fandom - without blackjack or hookers!"

    ReplyDelete
  24. *sigh* What is wrong with this fandom? We started out as a few trolls on 4chan and now were starting a Civil War? I thought there would be better things to come up with before Season 5 started. Come on guys.

    What's with all this "gender neutrality" crap? Most of the Pegasisters call themselves Bronies anyway. And the whole thing about changing the stereotype "Brony" from being a clopper to just a fan of the show will never work. THE WORLD THINK'S WERE WEIRD ENOUGH ANYWAY FOR WATCHING AN 8-YEARS OLD'S TV SHOW. NO AMOUNT OF CONVINCING WILL EVER CHANGE THAT.

    ReplyDelete
  25. On one hand, the idea is stupid beyond reason. On another, this was fun to read. Part of me worried this would actually become a thing (let's face it, a majority of idiots exist) but the logical side of me thought "Let the kids try and watch them fail. Sure bronies will look even dumber to the outside world all summer, but the problem will dissolve itself."
    You can't stop toxicity by moving away. As long as there are people, there will be negativity. No group is an exception.

    ReplyDelete
  26. History tells us of a time when buttfuck retarded people did not think ill of a term used to signify being in a fandom. History tells us of a time when all fans would agree to disagree about Best Princess and Best Pony. History also tells us of a time when friendship was true magic. History is in the past. Now we stand here today, facing a tragic event to add to history, as everypony picks sides and turns against age old friends. "Unite or die" ~ Benjamin Frankhoof

    ReplyDelete
  27. "Equestrian" is a term used to describe a professional horse rider/obsessed horse lover. I think this would cause confusion and, if a new fandom is to be started, it should defiantly be called something else.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. How about Equesticles?

      Delete
  28. This is just stupid there is no reason for a "new fandom". and some how i get the feeling its the non cloppers trying to distance them selves from the "perverted cloppers". i think this is gunna die out quickly

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  29. This is the most idiotic and unnecessary thing that I've ever heard of. It's just a kids show! This whole fandom doesn't need a "civil war"! What happened to love and tolerate? I understand that some bronies want to not relate themselves to the cloppers and those people ; but if that's all that you want, then just don't pay attention to it. Basically, this defiantly wont last very long.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. "cloppers" are not the problem. its the holier than thou "non-cloppers" who try to police everything they see as "harmful"

      Delete
  30. Dear god really? I mean, really? Fucking tumbler...

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  31. This definitely makes no sense: there is already another term for the toxic part of the fandom (cloppers), and the term brony is gender neutral because: the term came from /b/ pony, and even if it was bro+pony there is a rule in the Bro Code (search through it, I don't remember which one) that the word bro is gender neutral.There is no need to divide the fandom.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. the cloppers? really? thats what you think is the toxic part? not the judgmental douche bags like you?

      Delete
    2. Well. Kinda, yeah. *sounds judgy and douchy, but there you have it*

      Delete
    3. ^^^ And people like this is why we can't have nice things.

      Delete
  32. This doesn't change anything, you'll still find the so called "toxic" things your trying to get away from on the internet it wont go away.
    Just say you watch the show don't make a whole new fandom, you can just say you don't relate to the things you don't want to be included with, and don't pay attention to it, stop being stupid people seriously.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. it literally stays "ill bring the porn." what are they running from?

      Delete
  33. Wow, this is the dumbest thing I've ever heard of. Ever.

    We watch the show. We like it. We partake in various aspects of the fandom.

    We're fuckin' Bronies. Get over it.

    ReplyDelete
  34. You know, every fandom has different communities. The focus and people on one site is different from another. No reason to call it a new fandom, just a new community. Come on guys, love and tolerate.

    ReplyDelete
  35. Come on, guys, what's this show and fandom about? It's about love and tolerance. You have to tolerate some things other bronies do, you don't have to split up from them. And what about Rainbow Dash's element? It's loyalty. What has this show been teaching us? Why did this fandom even exist? And if you cannot truly love and tolerate then you are not a true fan of the show.

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  36. Seriously? Seriously?!

    ...Seriously.

    ReplyDelete
  37. This happened to the furries back in the 90s. History is repeating itself. Didn't work out then. Why would it work now?

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  38. People seem to make the show difficult enough to enjoy.

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  39. You know damn well what's going to happen to that mule.

    ReplyDelete
  40. The Empire will not stand for such treason! Stamp the rebels out!

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  41. i feal like it's just annother branch of the communauté

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  42. I don't understand what is going on with the "eqeustirans", because they appear to have the seem values that the bronies do. And how is the brony community (of which I am apart of) toxic? Yes, I know there is gory art and stories and pornagraphic art and stories, but every fandom has that. What makes the mlp fandom any different?

    ReplyDelete
  43. Like the picture said it, Dakota North and South... Every bronies are different so why would you fight for get the same thing on both sides?...

    ReplyDelete
  44. For one I tried changing the Brony name to Equestrian (Didn't work one bit considering I didn't know at the time that there was already a definition: Equestrians are people who race and caretake horses). 2) Other people will not view us any different if we change our name they will still think of us that way. 3) And if your that butthurt over clop thinking its one of the main contributers you may be more shallow than thought cause no matter what fandom there will still be R34. 4) In accordance with #3 and any other form of art in the fandom you should accept everypony for who they are otherwise your just trying to destroy the fandom by taking away one of the messages (even by doing this your taking away the main 2 messages we mean to spread as a fandom) we are supposed to share, what gave this fandom meaning and to why its lasted for as long as it has been when you take that out your just being a hypocrite and not loving (THAT WILL DESTROY A FANDOM)

    ReplyDelete