Pony Waifu Simulator Review by

>they are not real

Alrighty then! We are back with a new game to review! This time from the great, one and only Tiarawhy! Yes Tiarawhy, the person responsible of those many grade A+ explicit pony animations, such as Double the Fun (my personal favorite), Applejack Plays Poker, My Little Pony: Cadence, Rainbow Dash Eats Out Gilda (self explanatory + favorite), and others. Many others. And non-pone animations, but who cares? This site is all about the equine sexual penetration and mental disorders.
Man, no anthro pones? Come on, bruh. i cri.

Anyway, lets get right to it.
Right off the bat we get the lovely, high quality menu, that is sadly ruined by worst pony, Fluttershit and her horrible new hair and her stupid little green bow.
I hate you so much, I hope I don’t get to see later in this game, I swer on me mum… 

And like in any other fine sim, we have the stat customization, which gives only 10 points (like almost any other dating sim game) to spend on the following 3 options: StrengHt, Intelligence, and Charm. Sounds good and promising so far!

So far, the music has been good. The little theme the game has is some kind of cheerful version of Yellow Quiet’s song “Hush Now Quiet Now”, or whatever. Now, after finishing your euphoric character’s stats, you finally start your little tutorial-ized adventure head-on, accompanied with the instructions of the game. Y’know, since it’s just that typical dating sim, the instructions are similar to the others. They just show you a map and tell you that you can explore various places, work for bits, and hopefully make, multiple fuck-budies.

This is the map, filled with multiple hoofed characters. If you hover over them, they’ll say something any other pony from the show would say. Nothing extraordinary there. 

Also, up in the upper right corner, there is your inventory and your relationship status with the other soon to be cherry-popped equines… except for Rara. I mean, who hasn't spread this whore’s legs and rammed their footlong up in her?
Aw shit, I’m friends already with the yellow one. Wait, what’s that blue thing?

Au fick, gotta meet Banana Hush at the cafĂ© apparently. She’s not even worth the fuk. Whatever, it won’t be that bad to talk to talk to her. I hope this tutorial has Peasant pony available. I’d love me some apple pie, if ‘chu kno what I mean ese-
Fuck your hair-do and your green bow

AW HELL NAW. I ain’t taking this bitch anywhere. I mean, I could go for the white one with the canyon for a pussy, but I ain’t goin’ out with this shit-tier pegasus. Fuck it. I’m, like, SO super done.

There’s the game. I refuse to take it further and degenerate what is left from my integrity.

Comments (9)

  1. At least TW didn't put a fucking toilet on the outside of a wall. Fuck, was it that hard to do guys?

    1. You don't have a toilet on the outside of a wall?
      Then what do you have outside of your walls?

  2. They're as real as Ivan's girlfriend.

  3. Welp, I already knew this.
    Now if only we had Maud's flash...

  4. 10/10 ending totally worth it, also dat soundtrack M8

  5. Didn't you already post this?... or did I travel to the future?

  6. Fluttershy is fucking based, faggot.