|Note the star: good on you Mauled|
The 16 teams heading into the knockout rounds last Saturday were /cgl/, /f/, /h/, /mu/, /trv/, /soc/, /asp/,
/v/, /sp/, /a/, /gif/, /toy/, /mlp/, /x/, /an/, and /wg/. After the first day, Old Man Sou showed the cosplayers how to search for da Hood, the busty chics under Bittenlel got their revenge from Summer over the silver medalists, Mauled continued his march across the cup, Spotmonkey and Groudon proved their worth in the Elite once more, trouncing stronk /v/, El Classico was finished with /a/ saving animu once more, Woody proved he had The Touch whilst Madoka ante'd up, the Clop Circle gave /x/ a grim reminder of Spring 2013 (with the same score mind you) with a hilarious attempt at a goal by Pyramid Head, and /wg/ stole the Top 8 slot by sheer penalty kick luck from the scrappy dogs of /an/. Such a shame.
The Top 8 were selected, and these matches would decide the true names and faces of that cup. Some would be remembered as dominators in the competition, and some would let their name simply fall alongside the other stock.
The first match, /f/ vs /h/, was very quiet. /h/ had a strong showing most of the cup, but found a bit of a struggle here and there. Met against the already low-scoring, high-defense oriented /f/, the busty animu grills had to smother and pomf their way to a lone goal from Titty Monster in the 51st minute. That's it. Nothing really happened. We were all quite thankful not every match was like this. Regardless, we love you Sou~
Rodney Mullen and a series of excellent runs from the /asp/ offense put the heat on, but other than a consolation goal in injury time from the American Dragon, the wrestlers went home without their belt. We at Horse News would like to salute Spotmonkey and Groudon especially here, for an excellent cup performance that shouldn't have been (You even placed higher than /c/!). They stormed in strong, held their ground, and deserve their current 13th place ranking. See you boys in Summer.
The third Quarter Final is one of heartbreak. Two fast goals from /toy/ in the first half looked to secure their victory and a potential rematch against /mlp/. /a/ managers Tottori and Firo gave their boys a good whipping behind the scenes, with Bebop and Bert both scoring before the half was over to give /a/ the edge. Back and forth the two top-tier titans went, with /toy/ looking dominant in shots and attempts, but finishing went to /a/ again as Spike and his sweaty friend repeated their performance. Hope was groped at with the mighty metallic gauntlets of Madoka Titus in a 77' goal, but Woody and friends couldn't ante enough up to go into extra time. Anime and Manga marched on to meet one of the two most hated teams in the entire league.
/mlp/ and /wg/ are both teams that won a Babby Cup, have faced off in a Friendly match before (the box-heads claimed victory with a Cunt Destroyer hat trick), and are arguably the two teams with the most flak against them in the cup. /mlp/ for obvious reasons, and /wg/ for a whole lotta drama surrounding one of their managers leaping from team to team, said manager being affiliated with Dragonfag, and the questionability of a shortened-down /wg/ lead under StoneyDucky, of whom did not score a goal in the Winter Friendly season and conceded seven. Tensions were high, sweat was profusely dripping from foreheads, and LSA didn't even have any art for the occasion. A huge passing game followed, both teams going to either ends with massive sieges to meet strong goalkeepers. Bliss and Jackie Chan Tulpa were on their game, with excellent saves on both ends. Early on, Cunt Destroyer penetrated and throbbed his way straight to dropping /mlp/. Things looked bleak, but staying strong and dominating possession, Alicorn Twilight equalized just before the half ended. Into the second half, marching on morale and strong passes, >rape put the ponies ahead, only to have Descartes D-qualize quickly after. Fed up with all their shit, Alicorn Twilight flared her wings and blasted ahead, blooting the ball past Bliss and securing a 3-2 win for the ponies. Reigning champs and totally shit team /wg/ had been defeated and embarrassed in front of the entire cup. Good effort Ducky. #BringBackTom
Semi Finals: /trv/ v /h/ - /a/ v /mlp/
Abridged edition cos the Quarter Finals were so much more hype
Also /a/ went up against /mlp/. It was called the Waifu Bowl and LSA made art. >rape and Bert met in a duke of the chokers. NO ONE SCORED. 88 FUCKING MINUTES AND NO ONE FUCKING SCORED. MY HEART ALMOST WENT INTO PALPITATIONS COS OF THAT GOD-DAMNED TITAN. He stopped sweating to finally put a goal in, only for just-subbed-on midfielder Horsefucker to earn /mlp/ another refball, sending the match into extra time. Weaboos grabbed their waifus, horsefuckers held onto their tulpas, and Boris prayed the game wouldn't crash. The players were fatigued beyond all hell, with >rape and Bert seen leaning on each other, trying not to fall asleep for most of the extra time quarter. Notified that best girl Annie was watching in the stands, Bert pulled off a series of amazing footwork, danced around the gassed /mlp/ defense, and sunk his ninth goal of the tournament. The ponies tried (barely) to get their hooves back in the action, but even though a faint sign of a third refball was showing, nothing could be done. /a/ advanced to the finals, while the Clop Circle geared for a match against /h/.
/mlp/ vs /h/
Alicorn Twilight kicked the ball really high into the air once. It went into low orbit before careening straight back down then angling perfectly into the net. /mlp/ won a third place trophy after that display. It made a lot of people upset.
Yes! /trv/ - Travel won the 4chan cup with six wins and one tie. Mauled by the Tigers doesn't even have PES, and post-cup testing shows that, had a stroke of tactical genius in the form of some defensive slider changes occurred after /trv/'s two early goals, /a/ would have taken the final. Applause to all managers in the Top 4, you all deserve it.
Golden Boot: /a/'s Bert is a Titan - 9 Goals
Golden Glove: /a/'s Accelerator - 17 Saves
Top Assister: /trv/'s Couchsurfer Rapist - 5 Assists
Most Improved: /asp/
Least Improved: /m/
At Least You Tried: DrBorisG
Underdog / Surprise of the Tournament: /asp/
Best Dressed: /a/
Worst Fans: /a/
Best Manager: MauledByTheTigers - /trv/
Worst Manager: M3OW - /gd/
Best Anthem: I Vow To Thee, My Country - /trv/
Best Goalhorn: Ready to Die - /mlp/
Best Spaghetti Moment: >The Trash - /co/
Goal of the Tournament: Alicorn Twilight's low-orbit goal against /h/ - /mlp/
Team of the Tournament: /trv/
Also this is a thing;
|This is what happens when you can't vote for /tg/|