Nearly 1 year at sea - John DeLancie's swashbuckling adventure. by


After nearly 13 months without a word, it has become clear what has happened to Discord Voice Actor and Bronies Documentary staffmember John DeLancie. For months speculation has swirled about his whereabouts and activities since the "failure" of the documentary last Winter, and thanks to our crack team of reasearchers, spies, sailors, psychics, and Magic-8 ball owners, Horse-News has discovered that John is currently at sea...fighting pirates.
DeLancie, who may not be as tech-savvy as many would hope for being a former Star Trek star, was last heard from publicly on Twitter when he informed his fans that due to rampant piracy, the team behind the documentary had shut down production. That may be the last anyone had heard from him, but Horse-News found this clue in a newspaper from the Amish community of Lancaster Pennsylvania. 

The article is dated from March 21st of 2013, a month after his final tweet. His appearance in an Amish community only further lends to the evidence that DeLancie may not fully understand some technology, but most importantly, he hints at his plan for revenge.

John DeLancie sailed away to the South Seas, reportedly with a rag-tag crew and enough cannon (note: 2 "n"s) to sink an armada, in an effort to take revenge on the pirates that plundered his precious film from him (believing it was literally robbed from the ships that were to carry the Blu-rays from their factories in China and the like, while in transit to the USA). 
Some booty, recovered by DeLancie.

That area of the world is also quite devoid of most standard communication (being a general area of the Pacific Ocean), so nobody was able to inform him of the mistake he had made.

He has been at sea for nearly 10 months and in such time has sank over 2 dozen pirate vessels, everywhere from Polynesia to Hong Kong, and from Korea to Somalia in search of the pirates who stole his movie. He has gained a storied reputation among the pirates of the world, referring to him as "Ko te Kerei mate", which Google Translate informs us means "The Grey Death" in Maori. Direct accounts of his encounters with pirates are rare to come by, and some pirates believe "Grey Death DeLancie" to be a myth entirely, used to intimidate the modern-day outlaws.

One pirate who survived the burning and sinking of his ship and crew, says to have seen a man fitting DeLancie's description, brandishing a 16th century cutlass and a sextant on the deck of a ship named "Queen Faust's Revenge", somewhere off the coast of Samoa in mid-November. 


How his extended campaign against Johnny Depp piracy will affect future appearances of Discord in the show is uncertain, but Horse-News analysts anticipate at least one canon pirate-themed arc in the future in honor of his commitment to whatever cause he thinks he's fighting for. 

I said canon.
DeLancie's whereabouts are currently unknown, and it is unclear if he is yet aware of the fact that the piracy of the Brony documentary occurred online through file sharing, as happens with all popular digital media. 

Comments (6)

  1. This is the best mid life crisis I've ever seen.

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  2. God damn this is glorious.

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  3. Wow. Let's all go help him.

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  4. Let me know when he gets a marauder. His current locust-sized vessel isn't large enough for a crew of neets to help him out.

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  5. Laughing out loud funny!!!

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