Season Premises for Next 10 seasons revealed by

Fully-Developed Equestria Girls Twilight in a few years.

It was recently announced (and then quietly hushed) that My Little Pony will be continuing for at least 5 more years. Well thanks to a conversation with a Hasbro employee who had just lost his job (something about looking at the Milky Way at work?), Horse-News has secured the story arc overviews for the rest of the series. The identity employee who only revealed his information under the screen-name "Anonymous" was confirmed by another poster, noting "My Dad is Hasbro and I can confirm this".
Check out the details below:


Equestria Girls 2: Twilight returns to the human world to participate in a battle of the bands and lose her virginity to her future fiance via heavy innuendo involving a corndog.

S5 - Everypony becomes a princess. Except Rarity. She gets hitched the moment her crown hits her head to the nearest rich douchebag who can put up with her. She thereby becomes queen and sets the scene for the next season.

S6 - All of them have castles. Rarity thinks hers isnt big enough, and being queen of her own region, begins a power struggle with her fellow princesses. Turns out hubby is evil and shit. Something about an evil horn surviving the crystal empire reanimating. Entire story arc dedicated to a "Game of Thrones" pun, in which Spike saves the day after Cadance warns Rarity "The dragons are coming". Arc only lasts 3 episodes total and the rest of the season is basically a shot-for-shot remake of season 2, only with more wings and horns.

Equestria Girls 3: Legend of Zelda meets Back to the Future as Twilight has to save both worlds by travelling through time and shit. Babysits her young human-self and makes out with her own human-dad. Things get sketchy.



S7 - Ehh fuck umm... CMCs as main characters now? That's basically it. The rest of the characters have been absolutely wrecked at this point and are written off as being engaged with some conflict with the Changelings.

Deep throat Anonymous said those were the only details that had been worked out so far, as the remaining seasons had only tentative plans.

Equestria Girls 3.5 - Shipwrecked

S8 - Pinkie Pie's Playhouse (something like PeeWee Herman meets Dora the Explorer on meth, designed for toddlers).

S9- Fallout Equestria the TV adaptation (rights sold to HBO).

S10 - Dash Academy where the Mane-6 are the teachers.

Equestria Girls 4:  Human ponies go to Summer Camp

S11 - My Little Fluffy Pony - to increase profit margins all voice actresses will be laid off and the entire season will be without dialogue.

S12 - Final Draft's Professional Story Show



S13 - Live Action EqG

MLP: The Movie - fans will finally get a pony movie, but to their horror it is animated in half-CG half-Gen 3.

S14 - A season-long clip show.

S15 - Rainbow Dash goes through a different mirror and ends up in the Simpsons universe, meets Lisa Simpson.

Jobless Anon made one final note before Hasbro had him silenced logging off abruptly, saying that if ponies was still turning a profit in 2024 Spike and Rarity will finally kiss in Equestria Girls 5.


Comments (15)

  1. HBO producing a Fallout Equestria TV show? At first I thought the joke of this article was that everything was supposed to sound bad, but now I'm confused because that would actually be pretty cool.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Don't forget the LPS cameo in season 9

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  3. >Live Action EqG

    Its scary because this seems like something that'd actually happen.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. NOPE. NO. When that happens I will get off the ride.

      I was more attached to the original Avatar: The Last Airbender series then I am to MLP, and the moment the Live Action movie hit I bailed, and I'll do the same here.

      Delete
    2. >When that happens I will get off the ride.
      Nope.
      Our ride just continue without this herecy in right direction.

      Delete
  4. Wait, we have two different movies both called Equestria Girls 3? Is this some Ground Zeroes kind of bullshit where the first one is a twenty minute prologue to the second part? Because, shit, that'd make sense if season seven is about the CMCs instead.

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  5. So is there anyone actually dumb enough to think this is real?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. 3 questions on skype so far. So, yes.

      Delete
  6. >more fake news
    please stop

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. >still completely unaware this site is half-satire
      no u

      Delete
  7. To the people at Horse News, as the guy from the first Silent Scope video game would say every time you fuck up....

    "You've lost your touch."

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sentence fragment. Make your point in a complete sentence, faggot. Otherwise, we can't understand what you're trying to say.

      Delete