Freelance: Aspiring Pony Convention Shut Down When Organizers Realize Running It Would Be Like, Really Hard by Ghostly Hamburger by


MArecon, a would-be pony convention located in western Massachusetts, has ceased planning and closed its doors before the first event even happened. The con was the creation of a local brony called Rainboom, who decided that Massachusetts was in dire need of a con. When it was pointed out to him that there are multiple cons less than a day's drive away in adjoining states, he replied that there must be one specifically in Massachusetts because his parole forbade him from leaving the state.

MArecon was truly an ambitious convention. Although the con was invented in late 2012, the organizers planned to set the event in 2014 or -15, leaving themselves what they considered ample time to plan. Despite many rumors to the contrary, this long planning time had absolutely nothing to do with the fact that the organizers had no plan, contacts, or funds for the event. They would, in fact, be funding the event by sales of Rainboom's self-produced rap album, which contained songs touching on issues important to his life and the brony community at whole, such as his adamant defense of pedophilia and his threat to shoot up his school and the troubles of his subsequent arrest. Rainboom assured this reporter that the album would sell because it was "the shit, yo".

However, troubles began when Rainboom learned that despite having been to Bronycon and knowing that some of the organizers lived in Massachusetts, this did not make them best friends with him. He was forced to find an alternate source of help--so he turned to his high school science teacher, who had once taken a class in event planning. He reserved a room at a local library to meet with fellow bronies about planning this con. Surely, he thought, nothing could go wrong now!

MArecon had everything a truly successful con needs: an overly ambitious staff, a website designed in ten minutes, even promises of guests that Rainboom had not yet asked if they would come. But then, tragedy struck.

Was it the fact that Rainboom's parole forbade him from being on the internet that shut down the con? Or was it the premiere of a much more successful con happening a mere hour's drive away, put on by the very people who had rejected Rainboom? Whatever the reason behind it, MArecon is no more.

If you take a look at the still-existing website, you'll find hot pink text on a black background excitedly telling you about a special MArecon announcement coming June 2013. You'll see pictures chosen with great care from other con websites that suggest what MArecon might have looked like, if it had happened. You'll find a FAQ page blatantly stolen from Bronycon's website. But you'll also find a shrine of broken dreams, failed plans, and uncooked spaghetti.

-Ghostly Hamburger

Comments (4)

  1. This stuff is gold guys, keep the spaghetti flowing.

    ReplyDelete
  2. You shouldn't know who I am. But I can personally confirm all the foregoing facts are not just satirical, but dick-punchingly true.

    Signed,
    Someone Quite More Connected Than You Think.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. HEY. I KNOW WHO YOU ARE. STOP IT WITH ALL THE DICK PUNCHING.

      Signed,
      Your Former Boss.

      Delete
  3. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LFgMowOwek0

    ReplyDelete