A Love Triangle, or The Happening? by


And so... This is how it all ends. Not with a bang...

But with hundreds of neckbeards whimpering over the loss of the worst pony.
Today discovery.com released a synopsis of the 13th episode of season 4.  The episode is to be about when Tenderhoof, a hipster writer/traveler pony (presumably using daddys leftover money from his college tuition) travels to Ponyville looking for obscure coffee shops and underground indie bands that no one has heard of. Rarity, the epitome of short-sighted consumerism, sees that Tenderhoof has a large ego and social status and attempts to "fuck her way" to the top of the societal ladder.  Her plans of domination though fall short when Tenderhoof instead chooses Applejack (I believe this to be a clerical error because Coco Pommell is obviously the 6th pony of the Mane 6).  Rarity then dresses like a degenerate as she desperately tries to garner the attention of Tenderhoof and his multiple music blogs.


When news of this leaked, many anons became extremely distressed.  Mass cries of "muh waifu" and "ibs habbenin" were heard across the internet.  The pony Rarity is the waifu of many many die hard pony fans, so it is no surprised that so many were extremely agitated by this tragic news.

These anons became so delusional about the news
that their existence itself was threatened
Many non-Rarifags rejoiced at the news, saying that the rarifags deserved it.  Others simply basked in the butthurt of those below them, and drank from their supple tear ducts the nectar of devastation.

Many also claim though that the show is over now that we have offical shipping in an episode.  Others claim that this will be the worst episode yet.  Many reminisced in ye' olde' times when "Mamma Faust" was still around.  Of course, it could just be that I was reading a thread from any episode since the middle of season two, because every episode since then was "horrible" and "nothing like season one." 

A stark reminder:
The messege given off by todays news

How many more times must we cry for our mother until we realize we are on our own?  Will this fandom EVER learn that Faust is not coming back?  There will never EVER be another good episode.  You and I are on a never ending ride that goes further and further down the rabbit hole, until there is nothing but darkness, despair, and crudely drawn images of cartoon horses having sex.

You could have stopped this!

I personally find this situation to be hilarious.  The rarifags just simply dont get it that Rarity is a cockmongler. Even in season one, Rarity's goal was to chase after high status colts and fuck her way into fame.  At the Gala she wanted Blue Bloods blue balls, she lied to Fancy Pants and tried to seduce him in Canterlot, and her most important character trait is that Spike is always lusting after her.  We have to face the facts that Rarity's most important role is to lust, or be lusted after.

This Anon is shocked that Rarity is shipped once again
Every person is shocked that Rarity is being shipped with yet ANOTHER one shot character.  They seem to forget about Rarity's past.  Frankly Rarity is the most official shipped pony in the entire show.  It makes me wonder whether people even watch the show because it obviously does not seem like it.

Someone DOES watch the show after all
I for one can not wait for this episode.  First off it, it will prove that there still is a pony worse than Applejack, a qt hipster colt will make the PERFECT husbandro for me, and IMAGINE all of the "explicit" images this will spawn!  I will be on Derpiborru and e361 for WEEKS after this episode.  And lastly, just a tad bit of flame-war fuel is exactly what this fandom needs to keep from getting stagnant.  Nothing says a lively fandom then 30 neckbeards clawing at the neck to decide who is best pony.

Comments (4)

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  2. Is calling any female who shows interest in males a slut your personal character failing or is this part of your schtick?

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